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Being very gay
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I put it in his Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper. Just a microgram'll do it.
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As the Mavs season ends, so shall Blow's life. Though it'll take a few weeks for the polonium to do him in.
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OMG, Steve Blow just came in.
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Working a double at Shoney's, trying to follow Mavs and Stars on my iPhone. Tips suck tonight. Prolly because my attitude does, too.
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Been so busy at the new job, waiting tables at a Shoney's in Sunnyvale, near Steve Blow's house. He'll be in soon. I just know it.
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I am wondering how I ever got into the assassination biz. I also wonder how best to get the polonium into Steve Blow.
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Checking voicemail. While I was in Kazakhstan, the dwarf left 12 messages. I am listening to them all twice, finding I miss her. As always.
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I am hiding the polonium in a Putin bobblehead doll and getting ready to head to the airport.
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I am sitting in a McDonald's bathroom stall, in Kazakhstan, waiting for a delivery of polonium-210. Ha! Wide stance, indeed!
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I am meeting my contact in a Chili's parking lot to collect the $2,000 for killing Gary Cogill. (Discounted rate, for obvious reasons.)
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I am leaping from my seat and I am hurling a spear at Gary Cogill with an atlatl I bought at this great pawn shop over on Jefferson Ave.
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I am proud of being one of the few assassins who still does it old-school. Though the pride and the merlot hardly make it easy.
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Cogill: "When you write, do you ever feel like you're more magic than a talking unicorn?" Rum-Hud: "!"
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Maybe it's the merlot. Maybe it's the dwarf.
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Finally got to that gig downtown. I am watching Gary Cogill interview Robert Rum-Hud at the new Romo Centre.
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I am finishing a bottle of merlot, which I'm using as salve to heal the wounds that come from being unable to satisfy a Mexican dwarf.
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I am being yelled at by an angry, unsatisfied dwarf as I gather my clothes from her floor and get dressed.
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Me: "Baby, I gotta go. I have that thing downtown." Dwarf: "You always do this." Me: "I don't quote ALWAYS DO THIS." I am pushing her aside.
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I am lying here in a tangle of string, stubby limbs, and searing post-coital regret. How do I get this dwarf out of here?
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