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TheSurrealJB

  1. @NotDougMarrone Glad you sacked Spence. What an assbag. He was always bugging me for Juli's baking recipes.
  2. Back from scorching earth down in New York City. Wes Johnson is in straight raping mode right now.
  3. Hey, Tobias Harris: Suck on my volunteers.
  4. I love being in New York City. This place has everything: Culture, excellent restaurants, and room service pussy.
  5. I've seen a lot in my 65 years of existence. Lots of basketball, for sure, but mostly coochie.
  6. Doctor Gross came by to wish me a "Happy Birthday." I thought about stabbing him in the neck; decided to shit under his desk instead.
  7. @NotDougMarrone The birthday cheese platter you gave me? In the trash, right next to Paulus' dreams.
  8. I only want one thing for my birthday: Big John Thompson's head on a platter with an apple in his mouth.
  9. @NotDougMarrone Stop this nonsense. Right. Now.
  10. Tore the doors off Boeheim Manor last night for an epic Beer Pong tournament. Me and Old Man Fine wiped the floor with Hopkins and Murphy.
  11. Thank you all for the congratulations. I deserve it. Now get off my damn Twitters.
  12. 800 wins, assbags. One for every broad I've banged.
  13. Nah, it's called suckin' on my ding dong. RT @Knick620 Juli's gonna make him a "cheeseburger" tonight. Is that what the kids are calling it?
  14. @TheSurrealJuliB Warm up them titties. Daddy 800 is hungry for mammary.
  15. @TheSurrealJTIII I'm about to win 800 motherfucking games. What are you doing tonight, fuckhead? Is it Tonka-trucks-in-the-sandbox night?
  16. Correction, Tim Welsh. Only kicking you in the teeth will make me smile.
  17. Getting ready for the game with a strategy session between me, Bernie, Hopkins, and Jim Bean.
  18. @NunesMagician Everyone needs a hobby.
  19. @NunesMagician You're goddamn right it is. I just donated a gallon of semen to the National Health Institute for historical preservation.
  20. You would not believe the amount of freshman pussy I am swimming in right now. Heading over to Euclid to find me a new Baby Momma.