therealcherilyn
-
i took the heads off of all the nativity baby jesuses i stole, doused them in fake blood & scattered them on my lawn. is it jesuses or jesi?
about 1 hour ago
from web
-
mmffmmhmm mfhmfmmpff mmfslurrpmmfm slurrpmmmffmpfphh
translated: your dick needs more pudding.
about 3 hours ago
from web
-
well, the scoots killed any chance of sex tonight.
i have no idea what that cat ate.
about 3 hours ago
from web
-
when in rome, i do as the chinese do.
it confuses *everybody*.
about 5 hours ago
from web
-
hold me.
about 8 hours ago
from tweetymail
-
'cos the earth isn't supposed to change EVAR. i keep forgetting this. OOoooh
something the government CAN'T control!! i'm skurred!
about 8 hours ago
from tweetymail
-
i saw that unfollow coming. geez, you people are so sensitve. i bet you call
obama the messiah, too.
about 8 hours ago
from tweetymail
-
i love science. just not stupid science.
about 9 hours ago
from tweetymail
-
climate change is earth's natural progression. if you believe aqua net & cow
flatulence has created global warming, please choke yerself.
about 9 hours ago
from tweetymail
-
i once fucked a wool mattress cover.. it wasn't anything like fucking a
sheep.
you people are liars.
about 9 hours ago
from tweetymail
-
i drunk. productive am a
about 9 hours ago
from tweetymail
-
i'd say that my actions are for the sake of my sanity, but this padded room & shackles around my ankles say i haven't any sanity.
pfft.
about 12 hours ago
from Tweetie
-
i drive with my gun in the trunk, not to spare many lives, but because it is difficult to reload while driving.
about 12 hours ago
from Tweetie
-
my humor is constipated. i haven't had a good poop tweet in days.
about 12 hours ago
from Tweetie
-
kama sutra system:
fucking in strange, back-breaking positions to lose weight.
about 17 hours ago
from Birdhouse
-
an alarm clock won't keep me from being late to meetings. as a solution, i told my boss to join wait watchers.
8:13 PM Jan 4th
from web
-
if my vibrator could talk, it'd say "ouch".
7:48 PM Jan 4th
from web
-
pro tip: your pro tips are moot from behind the prison plate glass window.
6:03 PM Jan 4th
from web
-
i don't have a gag reflex.
5:16 PM Jan 4th
from web
-
if you mix orange juice in vodka, yer a fucking pussy.
4:25 PM Jan 4th
from web
|
- Name fartgirl
- Location nipples, usa
- Bio attn: midgets, religious folk, fatties, you other weird fuckers & cops: i say mean things. there's yer disclaimer.
|
