TheOpie
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RT @: Photo: This is Getting Ridiculous. I realized last month that I had a shot at making 2009 officially ”The...
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about 3 hours ago
from web
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Pro Tip: If someone you just met tells you they're either a salesmen or in marketing, just punch them in the throat. Saves a lot of grief.
about 3 hours ago
from TweetDeck
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RT @: The Postman Always Poops Twice: Two days in a row I've found the mailman dropping off more than the mail.
about 7 hours ago
from web
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Pro Tip: If the CEO catches you trying to light your farts in the office bathroom, don't deny it, ask him to hold the lighter.
about 9 hours ago
from TweetDeck
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New @ slogan: I Love You, but I've Chosen Darkness.
10:04 AM Nov 23rd
from TweetDeck
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Just had a milk shake.
9:03 PM Nov 22nd
from Tweetie
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I think I really want a chocolate milkshake right now.
12:36 PM Nov 22nd
from Tweetie
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RT @: If you have a Greek chorus AND a narrator, you don't understand the function of either.
11:41 AM Nov 20th
from web
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Poop. There I said it, you know it was on your mind as well.
11:37 AM Nov 20th
from TweetDeck
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@ Come to Minneapolis!
7:36 PM Nov 19th
from Tweetie
in reply to crookedvultures
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Dating in 2010: "You want to date me but you don't have a Facebook? How will I know what rock band you are? You don't like Twilight? WTF?"
2:41 PM Nov 17th
from Birdhouse
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Dating in the 00s: "Of course I'm on MySpace, check out my cool Unicorn background. I just love unicorns don't you? Anal? um... Sure."
1:59 PM Nov 17th
from Birdhouse
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Dating in the 90s: "Oh yeah I like Pearl Jam. I think Nirvana is a little played out, but the Chili Peppers are cool. Flannel is so cool."
1:29 PM Nov 17th
from Birdhouse
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"Do shit that matters, that's actually going to get you somewhere in life."
—My girlfriend, she preaches the truth.
8:53 AM Nov 17th
from Birdhouse
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Did anyone get the name of the cat that shit in my mouth last night?
7:26 AM Nov 13th
from Tweetie
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First round of shots . If I have anything to sy about it this $500 bar tab is gonna be gone quick.
4:36 PM Nov 12th
from Tweetie
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I find myself very angry at Betty Draper. So much so that I hope she drowns in Lake Tahoe. The teacher liked it in the backdoor anyway.
2:17 PM Nov 12th
from Tweetie
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Only Objects can be nothing.
11:02 AM Nov 12th
from TweetDeck
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Rule #27: If you're going to try to drink 1000 beers in one year, don't tweet about it.
6:27 PM Nov 11th
from Tweetie
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Congrats, you made it through the first year! There will be many more, and hopefully you'll be able to control your pooping through those.
7:57 AM Nov 10th
from Birdhouse
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- Name The Opie
- Location Minneapolis, MN
- Web http://theopie.com
- Bio In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.
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