The Onion
@TheOnion New York, NY
America's Finest News Source. Follow @OnionPolitics for the latest War For The White House election coverage. Also http://facebook.com/theonion
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TheOnion
The Onion
If you have wide hips, cover your imperfections with a gigantic tarp #NYFW onion.com/cKhEVf
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TheOnion
The Onion
Increasing Number Of Educators Found To Be Suffering From Teaching Disabilities onion.com/cL8aEp #InFocus: No Child Left Behind
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TheOnion
The Onion
Wearing green shirts on Thursdays lets all your classmates know that you are a homosexual #NYFW onion.com/cKhEVf
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TheOnion
The Onion
Biography Says Einstein Devised Theory Of Relativity On Paper Because He Wasn't Smart Enough To Invent Microsoft Word onion.com/Aa6vbp
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TheOnion
The Onion
Never wear glasses on a date; your potential mate will think you are undesirably smart #NYFW onion.com/cKhEVf
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TheOnion
The Onion
Department Of Education Study Finds Teaching These Little Shits No Longer Worth It #InFocus: No Child Left Behind onion.com/aBvjLR
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TheOnion
The Onion
Spanking Doesn't Work | "Locking them in the basement is no way to go, either." #WhatDoYouThink? onion.com/w8DZDN
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TheOnion
The Onion
Pants should be "cuffed," or rolled, at least six inches above the ankle #NYFW onion.com/cKhEVf
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TheOnion
The Onion
Remember: Distressed and/or acid-washed denim never goes out of style #NYFW onion.com/cKhEVf
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TheOnion
The Onion
As #NYFW begins, here are a few tips from the experts to help keep you in style: onion.com/cKhEVf
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TheOnion
The Onion
"We could see instances of race-based bigotry skyrocket to more than 15." – sociologist Tara Montgomery onion.com/z0meZN
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TheOnion
The Onion
Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year onion.com/z0meZN
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TheOnion
The Onion
[TV Listings] Cryojennifer finds that the only way out of her mess is to go into deep freeze until everyone's dead. onion.com/AEydHZ
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TheOnion
The Onion
[Letters] Dear The Onion, Where are scientists at on cloning? Since the sheep it seems like there’s been nothing. onion.com/xSHTdv
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TheOnion
The Onion
Watching Obama deal with the economy and multiple wars has left the country with pronounced wrinkles and grayer hair. onion.com/ypYo73
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TheOnion
The Onion
Study Reveals Majority Of Suicides Occur While Trying To Put Fitted Sheet On Bed onion.com/xeorz8
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