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TheOnion

  1. Sexualized Octogenarian Flapper Girl Still Earning Living For Someone http://ow.ly/1607nm
  2. College Freshman Makes Triumphant Return To High School http://ow.ly/1606DQ
  3. Entire Office Unsure What To Do About Bawling Coworker http://ow.ly/zW2y
  4. In Focus: Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear http://ow.ly/15ZVaA
  5. Sports: 95-Year-Old Yankees Fan Afraid He'll Never Get To See Team Win 27 More World Series http://ow.ly/15ZUqk
  6. Just Area Man's Luck http://ow.ly/15ZTL2
  7. Ohio Legalized Casinos http://ow.ly/15ZT60
  8. Ask The Online Reviews Of A New Tex-Mex Restaurant http://ow.ly/zRDB
  9. [audio] Dept. Of Defense Locked Out Of Pentagon Again http://ow.ly/15ZM9e
  10. Rare accuracy from competitors RT @Nightline: we profile @TheOnion 21 yrs 400k subs, 10M monthly uniques. As nwsppers shrink-this 1 grows
  11. Sports: Brett Favre Avenges Storied 16-Year Career With Packers http://ow.ly/15ZGYz
  12. In Focus: Idiom Shortage Leaves Nation All Sewed Up In Horse Pies http://ow.ly/15ZEGB
  13. [video] Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus http://ow.ly/15ZEGA
  14. New York Marathon Winner Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Horse http://ow.ly/zAR2
  15. 1999 Collaboration Between Carlos Santana, Rob Thomas Somehow Standing Test Of Time http://ow.ly/15ZDYz
  16. ATT Claims Verizon Lied About Coverage http://ow.ly/15ZDft
  17. BREAKING: Steinbrenner's Heart Monitor Flatlines As Yankees Make Final Out Of World Series
  18. [audio] Heaven To Return 3.6 Billion Souls For Rejudging http://ow.ly/15ZvMB
  19. In Focus: Eight-Pound Man Removed From Woman's Vagina http://ow.ly/15ZpTl
  20. HOROSCOPE (Taurus):Remember: It's always a good idea to wait at least 30 minutes before going ahead and defecating in the pool.