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themikestand

  1. 3 yr-old went into hysterics last night, thinking if we didn't turn the Xmas tree off, Santa would come. Dude. This is Santa, not Batman. about 1 hour ago from web
  2. If I had any artistic abililty, I would make a children's book about a hapless, unlikely hero. And I would call it The Corduroy Ninja. about 6 hours ago from web
  3. Jingle Balls. #xmaspr0n (I've gone too far, haven't I?) 11:59 AM Dec 17th from web
  4. Really want to start a #xmaspr0n hash tag.... anyone game? I'll start. "Round Yon Virgins". That can't be all there is. 10:34 AM Dec 17th from web
  5. You know? What the world needs is more polls that get down to the REALLY IMPORTANT issues: http://bit.ly/5lESCT 8:23 AM Dec 17th from TweetDeck
  6. Coworker says I 'look like a banker' today. I'm assured it's a compliment,and not likening me to a sleeveless Charlie Sheen in Major League. 8:08 AM Dec 17th from web
  7. I'm refined in that I like to watch a lot of Top Chef and then come home and make something I like to call "cheeseburger frittata". 2:01 PM Dec 16th from web
  8. You know that graphic with prehistoric man gradually passing through the ages until he's upright and modern? That's me, only with coffee. 4:59 AM Dec 16th from web
  9. Been listening to The Hold Steady all day and have now just switched to Ben Folds. I think I'm ready for my fixie now. 12:09 PM Dec 15th from web
  10. @DarrinSearancke Um, so... why the smile? Is it insured?! 4:57 AM Dec 15th from web in reply to DarrinSearancke
  11. Watched the immovable object meet the irresistible force tonight. As expected, Mom won. 4:16 PM Dec 14th from Echofon
  12. http://twitpic.com/ti5ju - Best lunchtime-run scenery ever? 9:02 AM Dec 14th from TwitPic
  13. Kids slept over at grandparents' house. I get to sleep in. This is the new "getting lucky" in my life. 4:27 AM Dec 13th from web
  14. True or False: "You're but one divorce away from your true calling as a cougar!" is a heartwarming birthday card sentiment. 5:14 AM Dec 11th from web
  15. @Hooberbloob Would have been better if you'd done it and not pseudo-confessed to it! I smell an April Fool's joke. What font would you use? 6:00 AM Dec 9th from web in reply to Hooberbloob
  16. "No, dear. Santa Claus is not the ghost of Christmas Presents." 5:22 PM Dec 8th from web
  17. Power trip (n.): Becoming airborne on Monday morning as you realize that someone's strung a cord for Xmas lights across your cubicle floor. 9:15 AM Dec 8th from web
  18. Lettuce no, lettuce no, lettuce no! #3yroldxmascarols 12:31 PM Dec 7th from Echofon
  19. Nearly bought some "everyday wine glasses" at the store, merely because I think that wine every day is an idea I can get behind. 1:05 PM Dec 5th from web
  20. Let me get this straight. She can read lips but because he learned to sign "merry Christmas" he gets points? I bet it's all the diamonds. 2:22 PM Dec 2nd from Echofon