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TheInfamousGdub

  1. @crazywhitlock too slow!
  2. Note to self: people like when I write fart jokes. SAAAAAAAFETY!
  3. Madam, I see you're talking to me by the movement of your mouth, however all efforts are currently focused on containing this massive fart.
  4. Here’s the thing Comedy Central. Your logo is an orb with sky scrapers. I don’t get the joke. Not funny. Bad logo.
  5. @kukkurovaca awwwww crap, is @lukeinvan The Intercept?! @abigvictory What do we do?!
  6. @abigvictory He's not in a van? Who decided to call it "Van"?1 I say it should be Couver.
  7. Man, that guy's stupid. Crap, did I say that out loud?! Oh no, am I saying THIS out loud? Okay man, just stop and watch their reaction.
  8. There was this girl that, every time we hugged, her bra would come undone. I miss her.
  9. @paul_e_wog If tweets were longer I would've include the entire thought process of comic book > LoTR > Harry Potter > The Invisible Man
  10. Here's what’s wrong with me: beautiful girl says, “I thought I was invisible to you” & all I could think of were Fantastic Four jokes.
  11. This cake's missing something. Can’t quite put my finger on it, but something like salted, smoked, pork cut into strips and fried.
  12. There’s no reason why turtles shouldn’t be the best break dancers in the world.
  13. @rubyland Twitter?
  14. God seems to be a real alpha-omega male.
  15. @expat_erin Hahaha I KNOW RIGHT?! Errr......
  16. @forLikeEver oh man, that pizza party was DRAMA!
  17. This shirt is too many epaulet straps and not enough epaulets.
  18. I’ve really been feeling the Internet love lately. I probably should get tested.
  19. @BeccaPiano Apparently there are no sasquatch bots. Somebody should really make this happen. I'd suggest Bigfoot, but he's never around.
  20. I made a comment about science and @funscience starts following me. Let's see who follows me after this: sasquatch bowel movement.