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TheInfamousGdub

  1. I've truly reached a new state of pretentiousness as I now regularly use words which, though real, are not in spell-check's dictionary.
  2. Some really vain chick accused me of oogling her. Ladies always accuse me of that, but it's wishful thinking. I'm way too hot for them.
  3. Let's be honest, this cheese spread is less like "whiz" and more "diarrhea". Marketing shmarketing.
  4. Don't look at me dude! That case of fifty White Castle sliders was empty when I got here. Also, you're probably out of mustard.
  5. I think it's cute that they let baboons work at this Home Depot. Wait, that's a person? Oh dear heavens!
  6. Remember the whole "Obama Dance Battling Tony Blair" trending topic? Wait, what year am I in? Crap, I've said to much.
  7. The greatest lie the devil ever told was that his name was spelled S-A-T-I-N.
  8. You guys, I think Adam Lambert maybe is gay.
  9. @crazywhitlock I believe that's how it works. I'm always amazed at authors who can write such genius characters.
  10. Eating a day old Gyro & watching an awards show. Hello Rock Bottom. Nice to meet you.
  11. RT @davegorum: Hey guys, @worldwarmike has a fat face. Pass it on.
  12. RT @yodelmachine: Also: TEAM DAVE
  13. I'm thinking about starting an Urban Legend claiming you can cure an eye infection with Red Rooster Hot Sauce. What do you think?
  14. I just got back from the dentist. Downside is I can't feel my face, but the upside is my Quasimodo impression is even better now!
  15. I think he's talking about me. RT @A_Sav: What's the male version of a spinster? I am asking for a friend.
  16. Attention female coworkers: the fact that you use more TP when you go #1 then I do when I make #2 is scary. Consult a physician.
  17. Vampire? More like vamp-lease-kill-me-now.
  18. "Does this (insert completely random non-related object) make me look fat?" Make it easy on your man and ask it that way.
  19. It's spirit week here at the elementary school. Today is either Pajama day or Pedophile's Paradise day.
  20. I promise a life changing experience as a result of following @plaid_lemur #ff