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thedayhascome

  1. My wife plays a mean passive-aggressive sad trombone after sex.about 11 hours ago from Birdhouse
  2. Feeding a hungry baby is like inviting a rabid badger to sit on your lap.about 12 hours ago from Birdhouse
  3. Up shit creek without a paddle? You should be more concerned you're floating in a river of poop. Eewie.about 19 hours ago from Birdhouse
  4. It's amazing that I can bong an entire bottle of vodka like nobody's business and still find time to spend one night a week with my family.5:41 PM Jul 10th from Birdhouse
  5. I think the diaper I made of aluminum foil is starting to give the baby a rash.12:33 PM Jul 10th from Birdhouse
  6. Sorry kid, it was either a six-pack of Natty Ice or diapers, so you have to make the one you're wearing last another week.11:00 AM Jul 10th from Birdhouse
  7. Don't you hate it when you're in public and you start lactating!? OMG like so embarrassing, I know.6:30 PM Jul 9th from Birdhouse
  8. The cop wouldn't let me finish drinking my beer with the breathalyzer straw. I tried not to cry about it BUT I GET EMOTIONAL WHEN I DRINK.5:15 PM Jul 9th from Birdhouse
  9. I just got a 100 on my IQ test! Perfect score LOLZ! Now, who wants to do some whip-its?11:45 AM Jul 9th from Birdhouse
  10. Love works in mysterious ways, because the Denny's waitress I chloroformed has mysteriously escaped from the trunk of my car.9:01 AM Jul 9th from Birdhouse
  11. Do they make a shoehorn for pants? I think my belt just screamed.7:35 AM Jul 9th from Birdhouse
  12. Today's forecast predicts water to fall from the sky and for drivers to completely lose their minds.6:32 AM Jul 9th from Birdhouse
  13. The Shih Tzu Massage I had was awful. Having a pissed off dog rubbed all over my naked body was far from relaxing.5:11 PM Jul 8th from Birdhouse
  14. Some of the best educated Hooters waitresses come from the school of hard knockers.9:46 AM Jul 8th from Birdhouse
  15. @kellydeal Just say N2O.8:36 AM Jul 8th from Birdfeed in reply to kellydeal
  16. To increase my productivity, I'm taking a short break every hour from browsing the internet to do work.8:00 AM Jul 8th from Birdhouse
  17. I'm calling to see if you received the email I sent you 30 seconds ago, because you haven't replied yet. I'll just come down to your office.6:30 AM Jul 8th from Birdhouse
  18. There's nothing more precious than the sound of a child sleeping unconsciously.6:25 PM Jul 7th from Birdhouse
  19. I would enjoy running more if it didn't involve standing, moving my legs or being sober.5:07 PM Jul 7th from Birdhouse
  20. You take the time to hide in someone's closet to photograph them sleeping and they still refuse to accept a Facebook relationship request.9:00 AM Jul 7th from Birdhouse
  • Name Josh Hopkins
  • Location Indianapolis, IN
  • Web http://thedayhasc...
  • Bio father. husband. vegetarian. web designer. programmer. artist. geek. thinker. doer.
202 Following 2,422 Followers
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