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thecheckoutgirl

  1. The amt of lipstick on this can of Red Bull could lead you to believe we are intimately involved. We are not. Red Bull & I are just friends. 28 minutes ago from UberTwitter
  2. Woke up to find my front page full of "I hate the weather" pouts. Oh, twitter, you never let me down. about 2 hours ago from web
  3. Ooh this is the one where Nanny Fine thinks Niles the butler is a murderer and madcap chaos ensues! What? Masterpiece theater, obvs. about 11 hours ago from UberTwitter
  4. Got my boyfriend to agree to a foreign film. He's like a gay best friend without the awkwardness after a drunken, lonely, desperate hookup. about 15 hours ago from UberTwitter
  5. Anybody know the date of Festivus? Now *there's* a holiday I can get behind. FEATS OF STRENGTH, Y'ALL! about 20 hours ago from UberTwitter
  6. RT @therealcherilyn: some bitch cut in front of me at starbucks, so i hit her face with my truck. about 22 hours ago from UberTwitter
  7. RT @kellydeal: This day could use a few pizza rolls and some slow jamz. about 22 hours ago from UberTwitter
  8. RT @mayjah: She said "The energy here is amazing!" but what was truly amazing was my ability to resist energizing her face. about 22 hours ago from UberTwitter
  9. RT @danaynay: Right, but do YOUR fat kid stains include both breakfast AND lunch? Uh huh, thought so. BAM. about 22 hours ago from UberTwitter
  10. @heyitsphil and you, sir, are very funny and appear to keep fine company. thanks for the #complimentfriday! about 22 hours ago from UberTwitter in reply to heyitsphil
  11. @heyitsphil I will gladly take onna dem dere compliments. #complimentfriday about 23 hours ago from UberTwitter in reply to heyitsphil
  12. TGC + Tiger Woods = New post at thecheckoutgirl.net. http://bit.ly/4xxQ60 about 24 hours ago from web
  13. Dear Past TCG- If you put on underwear now, you won't suffer from an atomic wedgie later. Trust this. Sincerely- You, Later 8:09 AM Dec 4th from UberTwitter
  14. RT @capricecrane: Due to Rudolph's ratings, I'm pitching a spin off where each week, someone gets voted off the Island of Unwanted Toys. 7:55 PM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter
  15. I never want to be so grown up that potty humor doesn't tickle me. 3:57 PM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter
  16. RT @Doozywhoop: @ac_money iShart 3:54 PM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter
  17. RT @ac_money: iPoop 3:52 PM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter
  18. Goatse is less good on a cracker. *Slightly* less good. RT @evrythingmustgo: Love goat cheese. Goatse not so much. 1:37 PM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter
  19. RT @diablocody: Dear 19-year-olds: You didn't discover "Don't Stop Believin'" Love, The Past 12:12 PM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter
  20. Radio commercial for something called an Automatic Hammer.I don't know what that is but sounds like it could really streamline my homicides! 11:26 AM Dec 3rd from UberTwitter