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thebenbrooks

  1. Look, if Joe Lieberman REALLY wanted to pay down the national debt he'd allow himself to be quartered on live, pay-per-view TV. about 10 hours ago from web
  2. Thanks to all new follows! If for some strange reason you don't know about favstar, here it is: http://favstar.fm/users/the... about 12 hours ago from web
  3. Uh yeah, when I said we should hang out and 'shoot the shit', I meant... Oh fuck it. Hand me the gun and set those cow patties up. about 12 hours ago from web
  4. Thanks for the concerned DM's but I'm fine. I was joking. It's what I do. I'm a joker. Ha ha. See? about 13 hours ago from web
  5. WOW. I don't know if it's food poisoning or Bird flu, but I just 'freckled the bowl'. about 14 hours ago from web
  6. If internet dating has taught us anything, it's that people really DO look better at 1 1/2" X 1 1/2". about 16 hours ago from web
  7. I don't like wearing my wedding ring because it gives women the impression I'm married. about 17 hours ago from web
  8. I think if I ever have a chick drummer in my band I'll have to sleep with her, just on principle. 12:52 AM Nov 23rd from web
  9. And a big shout out to the Aussies. I can always count on a few stars from down under. Thank you, and hump a roo for me. 12:47 AM Nov 23rd from web
  10. Look, if you don't think it's funny, that's one thing. But if you haven't read it, help a brother out. Come on! 12:42 AM Nov 23rd from web
  11. Never say anything more to your audience than 'thank you'. 11:10 PM Nov 22nd from txt
  12. I'm trying to raise my daughter with my morals and beliefs. We just watched "Barfly" & "Road Warrior" back to back. 12:27 PM Nov 22nd from web
  13. My toes just yelled at me: "Holey socks Batman!" 9:52 AM Nov 22nd from web
  14. It's 7am and you want me to make cinnamon buns? See, when you said 'time to wake and bake' I thought uh... oh fuck it, where's the Bisquick. 8:23 AM Nov 22nd from web
  15. Last night my wife suggested we try flavored condoms. She thought they were great, but I threw my back out. 8:53 PM Nov 21st from web
  16. And I told him, "Dude, you 'hang out' with the crazy girl, you don't MARRY the crazy girl." 7:49 PM Nov 21st from web
  17. Hey, if you're a conservative woman who's determined to follow me, could you at LEAST not be hot? Otherwise it's too confusing. 6:44 PM Nov 21st from web
  18. I know the DVD is called 'First Time Video", but it just doesn't LOOK like it's her first time. 5:23 PM Nov 21st from web
  19. Porn 'actor'. We'll, she's ACTING like her fridge broke down, but she really IS taking it in the whooha. 2:49 PM Nov 21st from web
  20. I have no time to kill. I do however have some time I'd like to resuscitate. 2:02 PM Nov 21st from web