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the_ubermilf

  1. @NickSeam see?
  2. @neilowhite @NickSeam Neil doesn't love you like he loves me.
  3. @neilowhite @NickSeam even the Brits' dogs have bad teeth.
  4. @tits_mcgee we all start out sweet like that. then the world turns us into crabby cunts.
  5. Maura as Eleanor Roosevelt? AWESOME. Also awesome: the mom who successfully devised a Sarah Polk costume.
  6. @deanwormer that's what you think.
  7. @NickSeam your face is vague. my questions are not.
  8. @NickSeam why is talking to you about pie so difficult?
  9. @dizzyvondamn because of you, I have "If I Could Turn Back Time" stuck in my head. I am angry at you for 1 minute and 45 seconds
  10. @NickSeam I know that you would let no evil befall any of my cooking/baking devices.
  11. I want my hand mixer so when I want a warm banana muffin with melty butter on it, I can damn well make myself some.
  12. @NickSeam also, my Flash Fiction Friday character has a little bit of you in it. I mean, I was thinking about you.
  13. @NickSeam hahahaha you're so unspecial.
  14. RT @NickSeam: How come I don't have a fucking retweet button?
  15. @hexidecima did your brother hijack your account?
  16. I was just testing my retweet button.
  17. RT @NickSeam: White person Jake Gyllenhaal starring as The Prince in the Prince of Persia movie. Come on Hollywood, there are terrible P ...
  18. @neilowhite When we have our commune up and running, we'll send for you.
  19. "I would rather be in uncertainty than a false fixity, as painful as that is."
  20. @neilowhite deep breaths.