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the_onion

  1. Biden Pardons Single Yam In Vice Presidential Thanksgiving Ritual: WASHINGTON—In keeping with a longstanding Than... http://bit.ly/5eFR2M about 5 hours ago from twitterfeed
  2. Who Are We Inviting To Thanksgiving?: http://bit.ly/8NGOVA about 6 hours ago from twitterfeed
  3. Nation To Be Sterilized From 1 P.M. To 4 P.M. This Friday: NEW YORK—The mandatory sterilization of all sexually m... http://bit.ly/7z5ygf about 7 hours ago from twitterfeed
  4. 'Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2' Breaking Sales Records: During its first five days on the shelves, Activision's la... http://bit.ly/5GSyil about 7 hours ago from twitterfeed
  5. 'Old Dogs' Opens Today: Old Dogs, starring John Travolta and Robin Williams, opens today. What do you think? http://bit.ly/4F90Zm about 8 hours ago from twitterfeed
  6. Grandma Concerned About Dinner Roll Count: ROCKFORD, IL—The elderly grandmother of four told reporters that, whil... http://bit.ly/4SSrNq about 9 hours ago from twitterfeed
  7. [audio] Miracle Powder Turns Water Into Delicious Fruity Drink: Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland http://bit.ly/51wF6q about 22 hours ago from twitterfeed
  8. Opinion: Like Hell I'm Going To Let Some Black President Help Me Pay For Dialysis (by Dan Laird): I take pride in w... http://bit.ly/821u4Z 8:44 AM Nov 24th from twitterfeed
  9. Sports: Nets Announce Team Is In Re-Demolition Mode: EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—In a continuing effort to destroy their ... http://bit.ly/5TqskC 8:10 AM Nov 24th from twitterfeed
  10. Boarding School Student Receives Wet William: DEERFIELD, MA—Deerfield Academy first-year Foster R. Poole III told... http://bit.ly/6DM3OA 7:40 AM Nov 24th from twitterfeed
  11. Shakira Just Not Feeling Up To Jiggling Ass Today: News In Photos http://bit.ly/8nnk1j 7:40 AM Nov 24th from twitterfeed
  12. Oprah To End Her Talk Show: Oprah Winfrey announced last week that she would end her talk show in 2011. What do yo... http://bit.ly/08VKdQ8 7:12 AM Nov 24th from twitterfeed
  13. Department Of Needing Transportation: 'Anyone Heading To Tucson This Weekend?': PHOENIX—Addressing the nation fro... http://bit.ly/7HmEdA 6:35 AM Nov 24th from twitterfeed
  14. In Focus: Thousands Gather For Stuffing Of Giant Rockefeller Center Turkey: NEW YORK—"Lines were long but I wante... http://bit.ly/8JQvqh 10:20 AM Nov 23rd from twitterfeed
  15. Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.: http://bit.ly/aQJNC 7:57 AM Nov 23rd from twitterfeed
  16. 'The Office' Ends As Documentary Crew Gets All The Footage It Needs: SCRANTON, PA—After nearly six years on the a... http://bit.ly/8b1iUn 7:41 AM Nov 23rd from twitterfeed
  17. Sports: Bengals' Uniforms No Longer Look Stupid Now That Team Is Good: BRISTOL, CT—By wearing their brightly colo... http://bit.ly/4IL9kd 7:41 AM Nov 23rd from twitterfeed
  18. Costco Nixes Coke Sales: Due to a disagreement over pricing, bog box wholesale club Costco is not carying Coca Cola... http://bit.ly/5Lx066 7:06 AM Nov 23rd from twitterfeed
  19. New 'Noveller' Allows People To Post Novels They Write During Course Of Their Day: SAN FRANCISCO—"I love it," sai... http://bit.ly/6m0ION 6:51 AM Nov 23rd from twitterfeed
  20. [audio] Celebrities Seize Africa: Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland http://bit.ly/7CaFBz 8:09 AM Nov 22nd from twitterfeed