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the_mrfeathers

  1. rockin the claudio, it's awesome as fuck, i can't see shit in this hair but who cares, hey vodka-bombs! 11:58 AM Sep 17th from web
  2. penguins, the snobby fucks 6:41 AM Sep 1st from web
  3. eagles, what a bunch of douchebags 11:51 AM Jul 31st from web
  4. @alwaysatlukoil did you happen to have sex with an osprey? watch out, those bitches have sharp nails and they're not very good kissers 11:56 AM Jul 28th from web in reply to alwaysatlukoil
  5. um, how do you get maple syrup-themed puke out of a welcome doormat? wait, i don't give a fuck. but i now crave pancakes. again. 12:07 PM Jul 21st from web
  6. @alwaysatlukoil skytank hooked me up with some secret military encypted provider w/free picture texting to i can text pictures of my balls 1:34 PM Jun 27th from web in reply to alwaysatlukoil
  7. @mindofchester that's how they're listed in my cell phone. right next to the swallows. 1:27 PM Jun 27th from web in reply to mindofchester
  8. @alwaysatlukoil hit up the midnight bitches, yaknow who's up for late night booty calls? owls. and i love me soome hooters. 1:20 PM Jun 27th from web in reply to alwaysatlukoil
  9. @scarymask no cage can hold me. i escaped alcatraz, granted it was a tour, but it sucked an i flew the coop. PS: eat a dick. 7:05 PM Jun 22nd from web in reply to scarymask
  10. @scarymask hey! buster! how about YOU lock it up. 6:59 PM Jun 22nd from web in reply to scarymask
  11. christ it was hot today, i did a shit on the sidewalk and it sizzled. 7:16 PM Jun 14th from web
  12. bartender, a roofie colada for the lady and call a cab for me, preferable 'round back away from prying eyes. 11:05 AM Jun 9th from web
  13. ladies got $20? i'm so good you gotta pay for feathery lovins, i am the biggest bird you'll ever experience. plus i'm slightly aerodynamic. 11:04 AM Jun 9th from web
  14. @DarkWiing i'm already a bit drunk, i can't find my feet. nap time. 1:27 PM Jun 8th from web in reply to DarkWiing
  15. @alwaysatlukoil @darkwiing @elliya i just eat the eight-leggedy bitches. 1:24 PM Jun 8th from web
  16. @scarymask afterrrr i finishs this drinks and some othr drikns adn anotheer drinkks i will flly up an kkick your asss buster! so stayy still 9:27 AM Jun 5th from web in reply to scarymask
  17. Jay Kay once used one of my tail feathers in his dancing headdress hat, i never told him there was a bit of bird-poo on it. 8:51 AM Jun 5th from web
  18. a titmouse is neither a mouse or a tit, what a load of bullshit. 8:45 AM Jun 5th from web
  19. i call this next drink 'suburban sunburn'. it's got vodka and hot sauce in it! i just puked in the sink! 8:17 AM May 29th from web
  20. @scarymask i mailed you a letter bomb, happy belated valentines day, douchebag. 3:15 PM May 28th from web