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texburgher

  1. When you do home improvement together as well as @jkresen & I do, you kinda wish you hadn't shredded your Yellow Pages for pillow stuffing.about 1 hour ago from Birdhouse
  2. @abigvictory WE HAVE NOT DISCUSSED PAYMENT THANK YOU VERY KINDLY.about 11 hours ago from web in reply to abigvictory
  3. I don't doubt your sincerity, @CranberryPerson, but I don't know what "gas-to-oil ratio" is a euphemism for.about 11 hours ago from web
  4. I wonder if @CranberryPerson has a leaf blower. HAHAHAHAHA but seriously, I wonder if he'd let me borrow a few for the afternoon.about 11 hours ago from web
  5. Time to french the toast.about 13 hours ago from web
  6. OMG I love campfires! And guys, guys! GUYS!! First wedding photos burn SO AWESOME!!!4:54 PM Nov 7th from Birdhouse
  7. Having a bonfire tonight with the kids. We're burning everything imaginable. Except for a witch. Apparently, their mom's out of town.4:05 PM Nov 7th from Birdhouse
  8. Be kind to new parents when they brag about how great their kids are. Because soon enough, they'll wonder why everyone *else* got good kids.8:20 AM Nov 7th from Tweetie
  9. Home improvement is like learning a language. You only get good at it by showing off the fancy training CDs you own to dinner companions.7:13 AM Nov 7th from Tweetie
  10. Multitask (v.): To harbor the belief that you can untangle multiple knots simultaneously by allocating a fraction of a hand to each.6:38 AM Nov 5th from web
  11. Annnnd that's where multitasking gets you. Let's try this again.6:38 AM Nov 5th from web
  12. I bet Connor MacLeod studies Anakin's Count Dooku slaying like you wouldn't believe how unlikely it is that I'm going to get laid tonight.4:36 PM Nov 4th from web
  13. Now you can follow @cnnwtf on Twitter if you want to.2:38 PM Nov 4th from Tweetie
  14. Always the romantic, I bought my new love a gift. "'Accidental' Comic Strips by CNN.com" now has a domain of its very own: http://cnnwtf.com1:24 PM Nov 4th from Tweetie
  15. Not only were there no strangulation deaths today, your responses told me that A) I am very patient, and B) I should fear you all, deeply.1:15 PM Nov 4th from Tweetie
  16. @MikeToThaG Oh, so like not at effing all?1:12 PM Nov 4th from Tweetie in reply to MikeToThaG
  17. @edr1084 Of all the answers I received, yours was most comforting, as it means I'm insanely patient.1:11 PM Nov 4th from Tweetie in reply to edr1084
  18. Quick, what is the accepted waiting period before strangling coworkers for coming to your desk to carry on loud, distracting conversations?12:12 PM Nov 4th from web
  19. The new UPMC Online Health Insurance Application: A user experience so unfathomably abysmal, you might just start exercising.8:20 AM Nov 4th from Tweetie
  20. I could be *so* much more productive if I could make nested lists on Twitter.7:04 AM Nov 4th from web