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I was outside for about five fucking minutes and I managed to accumulate 12 mosquito bites! I hate those little fuckers.4:19 PM Jul 6thfrom TwitBin
Why do husbands think it's a good idea to attempt to convince their wives to touch/smell gross things like socks & dirty gym t-shirts?3:32 PM Jul 6thfrom TwitBin
Some people need to learn that symbolism does not translate so well in Facebook status updates. Or not, because it's funny.6:46 PM Jun 26thfrom TwitBin
Trying to figure out what non-smokers do when they get super pissed off.6:02 PM Jun 26thfrom TwitBin