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tedfaust

Just saw a Golden Corral ad. New slogan: "Help Yourself to Happiness" - from my experience, I'd say help yourself to suffocating depression.7:18 AM May 14th from Twitterrific
No more earthworm dearth.2:58 PM May 13th from Twitterrific
Local taxidermists angered at city council for passing Prop 42, which bans the growing trend of sewing extra vaginas onto taxidermed owls.3:17 PM May 11th from Twitterrific
@figuremeoutplz I am excited to have found another man in his early 20s w/ a potentially-unhealthy #goldengirls obsession8:17 PM May 9th from web in reply to figuremeoutplz
Quick favor, please: round up all of the town's virgins and put them into a line, so that I may more-easily exile the least pure of them.10:32 AM May 9th from Twitterrific
And drinkin beers w/ Leslie Nielson! http://twitpic.com/4bez29:10 PM Apr 30th from Twitterrific
Still alive in my heart: http://twitpic.com/4bew99:08 PM Apr 30th from Twitterrific
This Sunday: 19 hours of Golden Girls on Hallmark starting at 7:30 am. Who's with me? I'll bring the Natty Lite.11:15 PM Apr 29th from Twitterrific
@jennafrye isn't there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?12:31 AM Apr 27th from Twitterrific
@lovelynita can you send me some of those fries to console me?3:03 PM Apr 25th from Twitterrific in reply to lovelynita
Did I kill Bea Arthur with my tweets yesterday? RIP Dorothy. I missed you already, aparantly.1:07 PM Apr 25th from Twitterrific
Is there some sort of methadone to help ease my Bea Arthur cravings?8:08 AM Apr 24th from Twitterrific
last night WE and Hallmark played two hours of Golden Girls simutaneously, meaning I watched four cumulative hours. Help?8:07 AM Apr 24th from Twitterrific
tonight's @maddow was even more engaging than usual. I think I need to start tweeting the fall of conservativism.11:36 PM Apr 22nd from Twitterrific
I just watched a bee coercively make love to another bee, so I guess Spring has sprung.2:00 PM Apr 22nd from Twitterrific
re-creates recreation.1:28 PM Apr 22nd from Twitterrific
My main B Braz totez busted out the puka for Mumu day! http://twitpic.com/3numl9:50 AM Apr 20th from Twitterrific
Happy mumu day to all my Chets and Brahs out there! String Cheese 4eva. Who's got my bonnaroo tix? 3EB cover band cover band time!9:07 AM Apr 20th from Twitterrific
"Koalas like to be high all the time." ~ Barnaby & Me8:54 PM Apr 18th from Twitterrific
Bon watched the bats. http://twitpic.com/3ks8x8:43 PM Apr 18th from Twitterrific