switchbladephd
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RT @: If idle hands are the devil's work, then is masturbation really a sin?
5:01 PM Dec 15th
from web
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Me: Hey, I found a dead spider in the tub after your shower.
Her: Given our sex life, it probably fell out of my crotch.
7:21 AM Dec 14th
from web
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I might be preaching to the choir, but if you haven't already, check out The Portable Curmudgeon.
8:36 PM Dec 13th
from TweetDeck
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I don’t understand why she’s mad. The invitation said “formal attire” and I wore my finest wizard’s robe.
1:01 PM Dec 13th
from web
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@ My senior class song was... "How Do I Live" by Leann Rimes?!
6:13 PM Dec 10th
from web
in reply to theacerbic1
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@ I was starting to think you'd taken the blue pill.
5:14 PM Dec 10th
from web
in reply to navanax
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How do you siphon gas out of your tank and back into the pump? I found a better deal somewhere else.
12:37 PM Dec 9th
from web
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@ Lollin at "Assbringer." Classic.
12:35 PM Dec 9th
from web
in reply to biffmofo
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@ John Williams and the London Philharmonic
9:00 PM Dec 8th
from web
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@ Improvised conditioner substitute
8:57 PM Dec 8th
from web
in reply to biffmofo
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Sometimes you shed your skin. Sometimes you are the shed skin. That's life.
8:54 PM Dec 8th
from web
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Those Favrd kids are just pissy because someone figured out that stars aren't DKP.
8:53 PM Dec 8th
from web
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I skip church on Sundays because I'm a misotheist, which means I eat a bowl of my favorite soup instead.
10:01 AM Dec 6th
from web
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There's just no rebranding your "personal brand." Somebody light a match.
4:24 PM Dec 5th
from TweetDeck
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@ That's probably a legal requirement somewhere. Or at least it should be.
3:03 PM Dec 4th
from TweetDeck
in reply to theacerbic1
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They wouldn't let me bring a rotten possum carcass onto the plane, which is pretty ridiculous since it was my only carrion.
2:58 PM Dec 4th
from TweetDeck
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Also thanks to @ for putting me on his cool kids list. I just poured out some bourbon to honor ya, man. Into my mouth, of course.
2:56 PM Dec 4th
from TweetDeck
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Thanks for the @ and @ and the last week @ and @. This is for you:
2:52 PM Dec 4th
from TweetDeck
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Note to self: beef jerky-scented cologne was much better in theory than in execution.
8:49 AM Dec 4th
from txt
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NY may have shot down gay marriage, but at least we have that new 5 cent deposit on bottled water. Priorities.
9:00 AM Dec 3rd
from web
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- Name Switchblade, PhD
- Location Pine City, NY
- Web http://favstar.fm...
- Bio RT @sailormidori i've concluded that dominos pizza laces their cheese with ex-lax.no other explanation for the eldritch horrors pouring forth from my bowels.
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