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sween

  1. Brevity is the soul of wit. Which explains the chuckles in bed. 8:57 AM Nov 3rd from Tweetie
  2. I know how Sauron must have felt. He made all these cool rings for everyone, but did they do anything for him? No. Because they're jerks. 8:27 AM Nov 3rd from Tweetie
  3. The fact I have a 64 pack of crayons and *still* have to go to work is a crime against humanity. IT HAS THE SHARPENER IN THE THE BACK. 3:32 AM Nov 3rd from web
  4. Monday likes to crush its enemies, see them driven before it, and to hear the lamentation of their women. 7:15 PM Nov 2nd from web
  5. Maybe I'll just stick to jokes about Monday. No one's EVER done those. hahalolsob 6:57 PM Nov 2nd from web
  6. Well. It seems Kurt Vonnegut felt the same way I do about semi-colons. *sigh* So it goes. 6:54 PM Nov 2nd from web
  7. Semi-colons are the hermaphrodites of the punctuation kingdom. 6:36 PM Nov 2nd from Tweetie
  8. If God wanted us to work in cubicles, he would have given us periscoping eye stalks. 1:27 PM Nov 2nd from Tweetie
  9. The greatest trick the Devil ever played was Criss Angel's lisp. 12:31 PM Nov 2nd from web
  10. STARTED TWITTER MEME #sadepitaph 9:57 AM Nov 2nd from web
  11. JOHN TESH IMPERSONATOR #sadepitaph 9:11 AM Nov 2nd from Tweetie
  12. VIGILANT GRAMMARIAN #sadepitaph 9:00 AM Nov 2nd from Tweetie
  13. TOLD AWESOME COMIC SANS JOKE #sadepitaph 8:50 AM Nov 2nd from Tweetie
  14. Wishing for more wishes is the SEO of magic lamps. 8:27 AM Nov 2nd from Tweetie
  15. Celebrities are so rude. Not one of them has sent me a toenail in return. This diorama is never gonna be finished. 4:08 AM Nov 2nd from Tweetie
  16. Just bought new sneakers, so if you need someone to run REAL FAST, call me. 11:14 AM Nov 1st from Tweetie
  17. "Thank you for not putting up your Christmas display until after Halloween." "This is for Christmas 2010." 10:07 AM Nov 1st from Tweetie
  18. *mew* We don't need to see his identification. *mew* These aren't the droids we're looking for. *mew* You can go about your business. 2:24 PM Oct 31st from Tweetie
  19. I've got a bad feeling about this... 2:06 PM Oct 31st from Tweetie
  20. My wife sure asks me to buy a lot of batteries. 11:22 AM Oct 31st from Tweetie