sween
- Sarah Palin resigned because she found out Alex Rodriguez really did knock up Willow.about 10 hours ago from Tweetie
- Me: [Leans into to wife.] "Kiss me."
Wife: [Turns head away. Belches. Turns back. Kisses me.]
Me: "I love you."about 11 hours ago from web
- As the Four Horses of the Apocalypse, Buttercup, Beauty, Princess, and Marigold loved sugarcubes, apples, and the keening of the damned.5:35 PM Jul 3rd from Birdhouse
- On the plus side, everytime God kills a kitten, you get to masturbate.9:05 AM Jul 3rd from Birdhouse
- I wonder how many prison fights are caused over disagreements about whether it's "shiv" or "shank".8:49 AM Jul 3rd from Birdhouse
- Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.
I come to bury Caesar- PSYCH! Got yer ears!
[Exit with bag of ears.]8:09 AM Jul 3rd from Birdhouse
- Don't cry, little hipster. Unicycling ironically is hard.9:27 AM Jul 2nd from Birdhouse
- There ain't no saving throw vs. Karma.8:28 AM Jul 2nd from Birdhouse
- The name of my book?
"Kankles LaRue, the Pluckiest Stripper".
Wait! It gets better!9:09 PM Jul 1st from web
- People don't appreciate pee flap puppetry.7:39 PM Jul 1st from Tweetie
- Wife: "We're like those people that sit around and insult everyone."
Me: "No, honey. We're not *like* those people."5:15 PM Jul 1st from Birdhouse
- Fine.
"Aboot".
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
EH?!!4:08 PM Jul 1st from web
- When attempting to kiss your wife, it's normal for her to pull back and say, "OOOO! SICK BURN!", right?
Right?1:55 PM Jul 1st from Birdhouse
- Wife: "Say you have a crooked penis and you peed on your face."
Me: "But I don't have a crooked penis!"
Wife: "They don't know that."10:26 AM Jul 1st from Birdhouse
- In honour of Canada Day, rocque with your cocque out.8:57 AM Jul 1st from Tweetie
- In honour of Canada Day, I apologise.7:42 AM Jul 1st from Tweetie
- There's a thin line between hipster and hobo.5:15 PM Jun 30th from Birdhouse
- It's Canada Day Eve, so I have to leave a jar of maple syrup at the window. Otherwise, Céline Dion comes in the night and eats your eyes.1:02 PM Jun 30th from Birdhouse
- My favorite thing about the word "obfuscate" is that you can do it just by saying it.9:26 AM Jun 30th from Birdhouse
- Sending good vibes to the Moltz's.
(Moltzi?)8:56 AM Jun 30th from Tweetie
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- Name Jason Sweeney
- Location Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
- Web http://atsween.tu...
- Bio limited edition, macaroni and glitter on construction paper.
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