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summerofbenny

  1. I think "You could take better care of yourself" was a nice way of calling me fat. about 23 hours ago from txt
  2. I don't care who the President is. I've never heard of Diddy and you loook like an asshole. 5:07 PM Nov 14th from txt
  3. Felt bad for the young girl that bought a pack of gum to cover up the panty shields she bought at QuikTrip. 10:28 AM Nov 14th from txt
  4. I'm sexting right now. 6:46 AM Nov 14th from txt
  5. @DonnieBaker1 Donnie Baker finally made it to Twitter. 7:19 PM Nov 13th from web
  6. Big Time http://bit.ly/1OdpcB 6:49 PM Nov 13th from web
  7. I guarantee the meat in this beef pot pie is not Prime grade. 11:11 AM Nov 13th from txt
  8. I would never pee in a hot tub. 8:59 PM Nov 11th from txt
  9. Part of my new email signature at work: "When system integration isn't an option, create another spreadsheet." 7:50 AM Nov 11th from txt
  10. I'm putting together a female hip hop group. The band name is going to be "Guuuuuuuuurl." 6:26 AM Nov 11th from txt
  11. I wonder what this "Gushing Squirt Queens 1" movie is about? 7:25 PM Nov 10th from txt
  12. One Tree Hill http://bit.ly/2FLCzE 6:54 PM Nov 10th from web
  13. I get recess from Noon to 1:00 today. 10:29 AM Nov 10th from txt
  14. Since I get treated like I'm in Kindergaten, I've started to address the management as either "Mr. or Mrs. [Last Name]". They love that. 7:41 AM Nov 10th from txt
  15. Why were logged off your phone for 20 minutes? Um, because I'm looking for another job. 7:55 AM Nov 9th from txt
  16. Here's a typical conversation with King when he's at bar. "Is the Chiefs fan I talked to cute?" "No, they're losing 14-6 at half." 11:51 AM Nov 8th from txt
  17. I want to chest bump Dani-girl. 11:25 AM Nov 8th from txt
  18. Now Issac is complaing that I stunk up their bathroom. Yeah, I know this is hard to believe - but my poop stinks. 11:22 AM Nov 8th from txt
  19. In the bathroom at Issac and Stacy's. Thinking about giving them an Upper Decker. How's that for a baby shower present? 11:17 AM Nov 8th from txt
  20. I think the "0 grams Trans Fat" label is trying to trick me into thinking Fritos is a nutrional breakfast. 8:48 AM Nov 7th from txt