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suburbancamper

  1. A golf commentary just used the word "negatory". Is that word still cool? Negatory.
  2. The new fridge being considered has a religious holiday setting - it shuts down automatically on the sabbath.
  3. Hammers easier to find in the suburbs than the city. Late night food easier to find in the city than the suburbs.
  4. Watching a chickadee grab a goose feather to reenforce her own nest.
  5. Urban hippie feels strangely guilty about using microwave to boil water for tea.
  6. Teenage girl spotted wearing New Canaan Field Club boxers as shorts.
  7. Spontaneous downpour. I sure hope all the windows are closed and the gutters hold up.
  8. In the absence of ear plugs, thank goodness for noise-canceling headphones.
  9. Why can't nonmotorized push mowers come back into style?
  10. Goth couple at church moved here from N'Orleans because Internet searches showed this suburb to be crime and natural disaster free.
  11. Going to hear a punk guitarist perform in a church, and it's not even Christian rock, hmmm...
  12. The slower city buses are, the better they serve as billboards.
  13. Suburbanites expect spotless cell coverage but they don't want the cell towers in their backyards. Result: spotty service. Call my landline.
  14. Overheard: had to put sick dog to sleep before going away...
  15. The catalogues that come to the suburbs expect women to play a lot of croquet. Anyone for a round?
  16. It's cleaning day. Watching someone else clean the house while you're not helping - awkward.
  17. sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
  18. The ice cream social is on! Head down to the Historical Society right now before it melts.
  19. Why must suburbanites have perfect lawns? Droning of lawn mowers = sound pollution and very little sleep.
  20. The house is a mess, but who cares, the neighbors are not coming over today.