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stevewhitaker

  1. I declare today "Tom Hanksgiving." 3 minutes ago from Tweetie
  2. Really hoping they bring out drunk David Hasselhoff to emcee today's parade. about 3 hours ago from Ping.fm
  3. Cher, Madonna. Madonna, Cher. ZOMFG TERRIBLE NUCLEAR ACCIDENT Lady Gaga origin story. about 4 hours ago from Tweetie
  4. @tanque back atcha. about 4 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to tanque
  5. People of the world: Today, I risk all to reveal this national secret: Americans don't really eat turkey on Thanksgiving. The meat is huma about 5 hours ago from Tweetie
  6. TV: "Glee!" Me: flee. about 13 hours ago from Ping.fm
  7. Long-time follower, first time @-er. about 14 hours ago from Tweetie
  8. @Favstar cool idea. about 15 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to Favstar
  9. I'm going to start calling butter "I can't believe it's not 'I can't believe it's not butter.' " about 20 hours ago from Tweetie
  10. @Lilykily next one, I'm nekkid. about 21 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to Lilykily
  11. @Lilykily you mean my finely-honed manly pecs?! about 21 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to Lilykily
  12. "Bud, if you get down from the table, the dog'll eat your cookie." Just as the ancient Mayans foresaw. about 23 hours ago from Ping.fm
  13. Hey, does anybody know how to poison, say, a turkey? Just hypothetically, I mean. about 23 hours ago from Birdfeed
  14. Fuck you in your I, 64. 5:32 AM Nov 25th from Birdfeed
  15. @molliebryan you, too. 4:14 AM Nov 25th from Tweetie in reply to molliebryan
  16. Apparently, we'll be on the road today with over a million other Virginians. I sure hope they brought their own beer. 3:43 AM Nov 25th from Ping.fm
  17. @shawndecker you need fifty CCs of Magnum, PI, stat! 6:28 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie in reply to shawndecker
  18. @kyleridolfo it doesn't always fit. 4:23 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie in reply to kyleridolfo
  19. @kyleridolfo is that sweet-ass keyboard, or sweet ass-keyboard? 4:18 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie in reply to kyleridolfo
  20. @vmarinelli It is your birthday / I wrote this haiku for you / But it sucks. Sorry. But happy birthday! 4:15 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie