stevenshehori
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Wondering if I should be alarmed about this bustle in my hedgerow.
10:04 AM Nov 27th
from Echofon
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I try to begin each day by creating a new backstory for the suited-up businessman walking barefoot on the beach in the stock photo.
5:09 PM Nov 25th
from Echofon
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When I was a kid in the '70s and '80s, there was a Death Star getting blown up like, every 6 years. Quite shameful I took that for granted.
2:56 PM Nov 23rd
from web
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And what kind of Ono Band will you need today, sir -- paper or plastic?
11:02 AM Nov 23rd
from web
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I only today found out I'm not supposed to mess with the Zohan. Not good. I've been seriously messing with that fucker.
10:24 PM Nov 22nd
from web
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Just saw a pizza get delivered to the cardiac unit of the Toronto General Hospital. Here's hoping Lipitor was one of the toppings.
9:19 PM Nov 22nd
from web
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Whomever is the pretty young thing Michael Jackson sang about in 'PYT,' the're likely in their mid forties by now. That's gotta hurt.
2:26 PM Nov 21st
from web
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I'm so hungry on this diet that everyone looks like giant hamburgers. Except for vegetarians. They look like pale, judgmental hamburgers.
2:08 PM Nov 21st
from web
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An open letter to my kidney stone: my body has many, many orafices. I humbly beseech you to choose an alternate exit route.
9:44 PM Nov 13th
from Echofon
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I've got multiple contacts coming up on DRADIS. Sigh. That's Thursdays for ya.
8:26 AM Nov 12th
from web
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Rob Zombie would be a fair amount less intimidating if he opted to go by 'Bob Zombie.'
2:18 PM Nov 1st
from web
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If I were a cannibal, I'd start each morning with a healthy serving of Bjork & beans. On fine china, though. I'm not an animal.
10:21 PM Oct 29th
from web
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My ghost trainer recommended I engage in some paranormal activity. Hahahaha. No, but seriously, I should really exercise more.
9:41 PM Oct 29th
from web
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I am the Tiger Woods of losing $20 sunglasses.
7:15 PM Oct 29th
from web
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Today's my birthday. 38 years down, 678 to go... I've said too much.
8:15 AM Oct 28th
from Echofon
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'Feel The Rain on Your Skin' by Natasha Bedingfield is the musical equivalent of Saturday detention. In hell. Next to snoring Himmler.
7:07 PM Oct 14th
from web
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Riding a high-rise elevator to the penthouse. Him: "Have your ears popped?" Her: "Wow, yeah! Did you hear them?" Me: "Die! Die! Die!"
5:11 PM Oct 14th
from web
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'The Odd Couple' was a play, then a movie, then a TV series. If I may speak on behalf of the tween set, where the fuck is the video game?!
3:52 PM Oct 13th
from Echofon
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Towels are like baby wipes for the body parts that aren't your ass.
3:46 PM Oct 13th
from Echofon
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I've got red hair. Mind you, every October it turns redder, then falls out. That's autumn for you.
3:34 PM Oct 13th
from Echofon
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- Name Steven Shehori
- Location Toronto
- Web http://www.steven...
- Bio Huffington Post writer, Canadian Comedy Award winner, Gemini Award loser. Have several hobbies that fall within reasonable societal norms.
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