StephenAtHome
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just five more days until sarah palin's book comes out. it's 432 pages, but i'm guessing there's a lot of these: ;-)
2:44 PM Nov 13th
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the balloon boy parents are expected to plead guilty... of 1st degree entertainment!
11:30 AM Nov 13th
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i can't believe we're facing an ammunition shortage right when we're facing a surplus of things i want to shoot at
5:30 AM Nov 13th
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vaya con dios, lou dobbs. wait, i should probably rephrase that
5:29 AM Nov 13th
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@ code-talkers in nyc veterans parade: elcome-way ooh-tay ew-nay ork-yay. they know what i'm saying
10:07 AM Nov 12th
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the rubber duckie song opened my eyes to bath time fun. before that i would bathe with an angry goose
8:51 PM Nov 11th
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how could grover have kept his job as a waiter when he's so bad at it? he must have some kind of corrupt union behind him
8:47 PM Nov 11th
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people blame the financial crisis on financial institutions, just because they both have the same word in them and 1 was caused by the other
8:40 PM Nov 11th
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what's black & white & red all over? no, really. i lost half of my laffy taffy wrapper and i need to know!
5:31 PM Nov 11th
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i should have splurged and gotten the one-a-day vitamins. these one-a-minute ones are a pain in the ass
1:31 PM Nov 11th
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i just figured out what the fifth pocket on jeans is for: loose contact lenses
11:37 AM Nov 11th
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I just made up a cool new word: . btw: in order to pronounce it correctly, u have to click it & give ur credit card #
9:31 AM Nov 11th
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i keep hearing about obama still being president. wasn't last week's election supposed to take care of that?
7:25 AM Nov 11th
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maria shriver has an ice cream for charity? i wonder where she got that idea
9:00 PM Nov 10th
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idea for new invention: twitter feed that pumps out 140 volts. i call it a twaser. patent please!
8:50 PM Nov 10th
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the taser is a perfect law enforcement tool. the lovechild of the nightstick, the pistol, and the car battery
8:47 PM Nov 10th
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the 30th anniversary of the iranian revolution, huh? i would really be interested in reading the tweets from back then
8:40 PM Nov 10th
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click here to beat those canadian eh-holes!
6:06 AM Nov 6th
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glad to see such a turnout at the anti-healthcare protest in washington. more people would have come, but they were home sick with swine flu
8:50 PM Nov 5th
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michele bachmann is not one to rest on her laurels. or to admit to the census that she has laurels.
8:39 PM Nov 5th
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