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6 Movies With Uplifting Messages (That Can Kill You): http://bit.ly/7KORQk 5:10 AM Dec 18th from TweetDeck
Yahoo is running an AP article on privacy tips for Facebook. Here's a privacy tip - don't use Facebook. 7:47 PM Dec 17th from web
It is too cold to even think. 5:18 PM Dec 17th from web
The man next to me in 7-11 is buying a tall boy of Icehouse. It is 9:20 a.m. 6:20 AM Dec 16th from txt
5 Inspiring Acts of Kindness by Terrifying Crime Syndicates: http://bit.ly/6p3hn4 5:17 AM Dec 16th from TweetDeck
Woke up with inexplicable knot in left leg. Have deduced I spent last night fighting crime in my sleep. 4:55 AM Dec 16th from web
RT @DOB_INC: Retweet this and I will love you hard. Streamy Awards are on! Nominate Agents of Cracked! http://bit.ly/5VwMus 6:14 PM Dec 15th from web
I think a fun scavenger hunt would be to try and find a Perot '92 bumper sticker. 7:01 AM Dec 15th from txt
What is more sad: the fact that I hurt my back again at band practice, or that I did it during our cover of Zombie by The Cranberries? 4:58 AM Dec 14th from web
@justintbrown Me either. There's even a thick fog outside. I feel like Thomas Jane in The Mist. 4:57 AM Dec 14th from web in reply to justintbrown
Have you ever been so cold sitting in your car that you fart to stay warm? 2:47 PM Dec 13th from web
My jam is back in the greatest hits rotation. Check it out: http://bit.ly/176utE 10:40 PM Dec 10th from TweetDeck
@lsach Unrelated, but I drove a VW Bug in high school. The gas pedal would periodically get stuck. I wept for my life and future. 9:02 PM Dec 10th from web in reply to lsach
@justintbrown IT'S A FRIGGING HAMMER. 5:13 PM Dec 10th from web in reply to justintbrown
Never give me candy as a gift, I don't eat it. I just found a tin full of chocolate in my closet from like two Christmases ago. 4:10 PM Dec 10th from web
You shouldn't have to work on rainy days. I decided this, just now. 5:59 AM Dec 9th from txt
A lady called my tattoos "baby ink". I have no defense. 4:45 PM Dec 7th from web
The Washingtonians - cannibal George Washington followers versus Jonathon Schaech. Rent this immediately. 9:10 PM Dec 6th from web
It is freezing in my bedroom. Considering sleeping in the eviscerated stomach of a tauntaun. 6:53 PM Dec 6th from web
The woman in front of me at 711 smells like a dumpster full of dead squirrels. 6:14 AM Dec 3rd from txt

Name Tom Reimann
Location Under Your Bed
Web http://startthema...
Bio Once a nerdy high school kid, Tom was bitten by a radioactive spider and contracted spider leukemia.