squibble
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I'LL EAT UP ALL YOUR CRACKERS AND YOUR LICORICE
about 7 hours ago
from web
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The time was 6 o'clock on the Swatch Watch, no time to chill, got a date, can't be late, hey, THE GIRL IS GONNA DO ME.
about 7 hours ago
from web
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@ Ain't nothing wrong, if you wanna do the butt ALL NIGHT LONG.
about 13 hours ago
from web
in reply to CranberryPerson
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I just substituted a fruit cup for french fries at lunch. If you see any 2012 shit start happening, I'll take responsibility.
about 14 hours ago
from web
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@ No doubt. It should also be for beer at 9am.
about 19 hours ago
from web
in reply to SarahInMI
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@ Only when driving. :)
about 19 hours ago
from web
in reply to idlemuse
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IT'S A SPEED BUMP NOT A FUCKING STOP SIGN YOU PIECE OF WHORE SHIT
about 19 hours ago
from txt
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My lips are so chapped I bet I could give a blowjob to a Chapstick right now and it wouldn't help anything.
Except maybe the chapstick.
7:23 PM Nov 28th
from Tweetie
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So a guy walks into a bar and orders a salad...
And another guy at the bar (me) judges him and tweets about it.
7:15 PM Nov 28th
from Tweetie
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The bar has shopping mall Christmas Muzak.
MUZAK
I thought the alcohol was supposed to be the depressant.
6:57 PM Nov 28th
from Tweetie
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I have a cold beer in one hand, my newly replaced iPhone in the other.
I need a third hand to touch myself to complete the trifecta.
6:33 PM Nov 28th
from Tweetie
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iPhone is broke, barely near civilization, much less an Apple Store. Pray for the lives of those near me as this doesnt help my disposition.
4:14 PM Nov 27th
from web
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I've just had three shots of something very alcoholic. Oh and I have had beers too.
7:52 PM Nov 26th
from txt
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I'll save the associated tweet for @ for about 12-18 hours.
1:15 PM Nov 26th
from txt
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My good friend @ gets married and now I feel pregnant. Logical.
1:14 PM Nov 26th
from txt
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I like to imagine that in the Christmas Audi headlight commercial the neighbors walk toward the cars to beat people up for pretentiousness.
7:05 AM Nov 26th
from Tweetie
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My blood type is A+. Tha'ts right.
10:36 PM Nov 25th
from web
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Sometimes I can't take off the cocksmith hat.
10:22 PM Nov 25th
from web
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@ Yo' I heard you like dreams...
5:30 AM Nov 25th
from web
in reply to InSoOutSo
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Friends are awesome, especially for the times when you need a different picture angle, so that it looks like Ronald McDonald is blowing you.
12:32 PM Nov 24th
from web
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- Name Some Dude
- Location In Your Pants
- Bio Awesome
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