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squibble

  1. I'LL EAT UP ALL YOUR CRACKERS AND YOUR LICORICE about 7 hours ago from web
  2. The time was 6 o'clock on the Swatch Watch, no time to chill, got a date, can't be late, hey, THE GIRL IS GONNA DO ME. about 7 hours ago from web
  3. @CranberryPerson Ain't nothing wrong, if you wanna do the butt ALL NIGHT LONG. about 13 hours ago from web in reply to CranberryPerson
  4. I just substituted a fruit cup for french fries at lunch. If you see any 2012 shit start happening, I'll take responsibility. about 14 hours ago from web
  5. @SarahInMI No doubt. It should also be for beer at 9am. about 19 hours ago from web in reply to SarahInMI
  6. @idlemuse Only when driving. :) about 19 hours ago from web in reply to idlemuse
  7. IT'S A SPEED BUMP NOT A FUCKING STOP SIGN YOU PIECE OF WHORE SHIT about 19 hours ago from txt
  8. My lips are so chapped I bet I could give a blowjob to a Chapstick right now and it wouldn't help anything. Except maybe the chapstick. 7:23 PM Nov 28th from Tweetie
  9. So a guy walks into a bar and orders a salad... And another guy at the bar (me) judges him and tweets about it. 7:15 PM Nov 28th from Tweetie
  10. The bar has shopping mall Christmas Muzak. MUZAK I thought the alcohol was supposed to be the depressant. 6:57 PM Nov 28th from Tweetie
  11. I have a cold beer in one hand, my newly replaced iPhone in the other. I need a third hand to touch myself to complete the trifecta. 6:33 PM Nov 28th from Tweetie
  12. iPhone is broke, barely near civilization, much less an Apple Store. Pray for the lives of those near me as this doesnt help my disposition. 4:14 PM Nov 27th from web
  13. I've just had three shots of something very alcoholic. Oh and I have had beers too. 7:52 PM Nov 26th from txt
  14. I'll save the associated tweet for @Flatulator for about 12-18 hours. 1:15 PM Nov 26th from txt
  15. My good friend @MrsHands gets married and now I feel pregnant. Logical. 1:14 PM Nov 26th from txt
  16. I like to imagine that in the Christmas Audi headlight commercial the neighbors walk toward the cars to beat people up for pretentiousness. 7:05 AM Nov 26th from Tweetie
  17. My blood type is A+. Tha'ts right. 10:36 PM Nov 25th from web
  18. Sometimes I can't take off the cocksmith hat. 10:22 PM Nov 25th from web
  19. @InSoOutSo Yo' I heard you like dreams... 5:30 AM Nov 25th from web in reply to InSoOutSo
  20. Friends are awesome, especially for the times when you need a different picture angle, so that it looks like Ronald McDonald is blowing you. 12:32 PM Nov 24th from web