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spdracerx

  1. My sincere thanks to everyone for the recent kind words. Unfortunately my cousin's body was found yesterday and I'm going on a Twitter break
  2. Thinking about crashing the school principals' conference at our hotel. All I need is a cheap-looking sportcoat and a bushy mustache.
  3. I'm in Williamsburg for three days at the same time @IsJonas is out of town for five days. What kind of cruel shit is that?
  4. Overheard my co-worker mention growing up in west Philadelphia and now I can't get the Fresh Prince theme song out of my head.
  5. Let's get this straight, everybody: there is no such thing as a "first annual" event. The word is "inaugural."
  6. Whatever, kid. I'm 31. I can just buy my own damn candy. I don't have to beg for it like a freaking hobo.
  7. You see, the Bono costume is meant to be a subtle reference to that song Vertigo and yes I am aware that nobody's going to get it.
  8. I'm going to attempt to dress up as Bono tonight but it will probably just come off as "douchebag with dumb hat and sunglasses."
  9. That last tweet was of course an homage to Night of the Living Dead, but if I have any followers named Barbara I hope it freaked them out.
  10. They're coming to get you, Barbara!
  11. Watching a made-for-TV remake of Rear Window and learning the true meaning of the word blasphemy.
  12. @EvrodCassimy Burton, MI. Just outside of Flint.
  13. My cousin is still missing so I don't feel like making jokes again yet, but I'm starring tweets again now. Be funny and cheer me up, mofos!
  14. People of Flint and Burton, #Michigan: please keep an eye out for my missing cousin. http://bit.ly/2hkGjY
  15. This is the picture link for anyone in the mid-Michigan area who might be able to help locate my cousin. http://bit.ly/2hkGjY
  16. Thank you to @mikemorrow, @ChiNurse, @stevewhitaker, @RexHuppke and @igotyourcrazy for helping to spread the pic of my missing cousin.
  17. Our Bottoms Up pizzas have already been delivered and they smell really good but staff meeting isn't for 17 minutes why is life so cruel?
  18. The downside to being a fly on the wall is being a fly.
  19. No, YOUR the looser!
  20. The Simpsons is spoofing Hitchcock. I'm having a geekgasm as we speak.