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smartasshat

Ask not "Who killed the Kennedys?". Ask "Who did the Kennedys kill?". (HINT: It was Mary Jo Kopechne.)about 6 hours ago from web
Realize this and prosper: Girls have more complex feelings. It's always prudent to tread lightly and apologize often.about 8 hours ago from API
It took quite a genius to replace Steve Jobs' liver. But he was out of warranty so it cost an arm and a leg.1:39 PM Jul 8th from web
@cleversimon That's your slam-dunk. I don't even need to say "good luck." So: Congrats on getting the job!1:14 PM Jul 8th from web in reply to cleversimon
@bliccy You had me UNTIL "Just happy hour, mister."12:43 PM Jul 8th from web in reply to bliccy
*Sarah Palin is not attractive to Chris Christie's NJ Gov campaign* You could have stopped after the 5th word.8:08 AM Jul 8th from API
@luomat But @MaureenDowd dismisses the iPhone because people use it to talk about sandwiches.1:51 PM Jul 7th from web in reply to luomat
*Quitting Liar Palin Says She's a Fighter, Not a Quitter*7:30 AM Jul 7th from web
Harry Potter and Michael Jackson's $20 Million2:52 PM Jul 6th from API
Betsy Ross' balls were SO big that they could hide @gruber for an entire year. #BRBalls12:43 PM Jul 6th from web
Betsy Ross' balls were SO big that they couldn't be separated due to their mutual gravitational attraction. #BRBalls11:30 AM Jul 6th from web
@kellydeal I think he was doing it _ironically_.6:44 PM Jul 5th from Tweetie in reply to kellydeal
@CcSteff I hear tell them Boy Scouts is purty kinky, too.6:38 PM Jul 5th from Tweetie in reply to CcSteff
@cleversimon Oh no! Don't tell me @wilburly is back!7:23 AM Jul 5th from web in reply to cleversimon
Hey, they were right! Firefox 3.5 crashes MUCH faster.11:50 PM Jul 4th from web
OH at Sports-bar-ish lounge: "Give him a shot to shut him up!" Um, perhaps you don't fully understand the effect alcohol has on humans.3:46 PM Jul 4th from web
@vmarinelli Perhaps they stumbled upon @Lynyrd's souvenir a year ago. That'd do it.3:34 PM Jul 4th from Tweetie in reply to vmarinelli
@clapifyoulikeme Ask her if they have Fourth of July over there!3:32 PM Jul 4th from Tweetie in reply to clapifyoulikeme
Photoset: It’s 1975. You have to bet on which one of these guys will die first. Easy, right? http://tumblr.com/x7l28mp2z10:55 AM Jul 4th from Tumblr
RT @FOXnews: BREAKING! Wacko-Jacko's will says Sarah Palin is Michael Jackson's Baby Mama. "She needs to breed." (PLEASE RT!) #tcot #RIPMJ2:00 PM Jul 3rd from Tweetie

Name ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs
Location Tehran
Bio These are the voyages of the Starship Euphemize. Its 5 yr mission: To explore strange new words, to seek out new jokes and new implications.