Hey there! smartasshat is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What's happening? Join today to start receiving smartasshat's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

smartasshat

Little Known Fact: For the coming Zombiepocalypse, the government has a secret base where they stockpile zombies' natural enemy, the buzzard about 5 hours ago from web
@Mike_FTW RIPF about 18 hours ago from web in reply to Mike_FTW
Sarah Palin faced off with Oprah and claims to have fared well, BUT I SAW HER BLINK! 6:58 PM Nov 24th from web
@brittneyg Your roof is the one spot in SF that gets AT&T reception, right? 5:50 PM Nov 24th from web in reply to brittneyg
@brittneyg Oh please oh please oh please oh please post a link to the segment. Thank you. 4:42 PM Nov 24th from Hahlo
@sween Gorgeous brunettes have a successful history of playing to us... I mean THOSE nerds. Yeah, that's it. 4:24 PM Nov 24th from mobile web
LITTLE KNOWN FACT: @vmarinelli has a removable leg, and sometimes on her birthday, she will detach it to wow crowds. True story. 4:16 PM Nov 24th from mobile web
What happens in Halliburton STAYS in Halliburton. 1:03 PM Nov 24th from web
JIZZUS CHRIST! - Exclamation uttered when masturbating and the semen jumps over the tissue, getting all over you. I hear. 12:42 PM Nov 24th from web
@ThunderDolt I bet that person would be astounded at the astronomical odds of Lou Gehrig actually getting Lou Gehrig's Disease. 10:03 AM Nov 24th from web in reply to ThunderDolt
BREAKING: Defense Secretary Robert Gates demands that the military provide a list of personnel who will go on a shooting spree in the future 9:16 AM Nov 23rd from web
Someone sprayed so much Febreze™ in this bathroom that it's Feblustery™. 8:08 AM Nov 23rd from web
Febreze™ - All the wretched scum and villainy of Walmart condensed to a handy spray! 7:04 AM Nov 23rd from web
Someone nailed Kanye's shoes to the floor. 7:54 PM Nov 22nd from Tweetie
@Jessabelle2o7 Whilst you do have a point, I am relieved that you can not hear me pronounce "literally". 11:30 AM Nov 22nd from web in reply to Jessabelle2o7
@aedison And shurikens. Don't forget shurikens. 12:21 PM Nov 21st from web in reply to aedison
RT @urkillingme: A: Because Walmart forces unattainably low prices from their suppliers Q: Why did the textile plants in that Georgia ... ... 12:17 PM Nov 21st from web
The following is a Retweet™ in _Jeopardy!_ format. Enjoy. 12:17 PM Nov 21st from web
ABBA The Hutt #starwarsbandnames 11:42 AM Nov 21st from web
Duran Duran Binks #starwarsbandnames 11:38 AM Nov 21st from web

Name ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs
Location Boldly Going Nowhere
Bio These are the voyages of the Starship Euphemize. Its 5 yr mission: To explore strange new words, to seek out new jokes and new implications.