sloganeerist
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My local cafe was closed yesterday, but they're still serving day-old donuts today. Kiss me, America, you committed-workforced motherfucker.
about 20 hours ago
from Birdfeed
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Every Thanksgiving I wake up early and pretend I'm a survivor in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. I'm gonna eat so much homeless person flesh!
9:14 AM Nov 26th
from web
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I don't know if you guys heard, Carl Lipbomb died last week at summer camp from a severe anxiety attack.
8:54 PM Nov 25th
from web
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I bet when he was younger, Jesus got really sick of idiots telling him happy birthday on Thanksgiving.
5:23 PM Nov 25th
from Birdhouse
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@ Zinfandel? LOL. I drink bottles of Zinfandel for breakfast. Seriously, whole bottles. Please get me the medical attention I need.
3:33 PM Nov 25th
from web
in reply to MooeyTie
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Pardon all the turkeys you want. But this here box of Pinot is a bygod dead man walking.
2:46 PM Nov 25th
from Birdfeed
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Unless you wanna see tons of photos of her covered in sweaty nude hippies, do not Google my ex-girlfriend, Dolores Park.
7:28 AM Nov 25th
from Birdhouse
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Time for our holiday food drive, when thoughts turn to those less fortunate families who can't afford their own hominy and tomato paste.
5:04 PM Nov 24th
from Birdhouse
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Like they say, if you have to ask the Blockbuster lady how much it costs to rub Twix in her mustache and make out, you can't afford it.
3:26 PM Nov 24th
from Birdhouse
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Nowhere in all of poetry is the simple, captivating beauty of human emotion so gracefully expressed as in the works of W.H. Auden. No homo.
12:49 PM Nov 24th
from Birdhouse
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Pot is my new anti-drug. Shut up, I know. Everything else was taken and it was like two minutes til last call. Plus I was tweaking balls.
5:48 PM Nov 23rd
from Birdhouse
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Why is Blue Oyster Cult doing a reunion? They're the worst band ever! Oh, I see now. Yeah, it does feel good to type those words again.
5:06 PM Nov 19th
from Birdhouse
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"Pube on a Bathroom Sink" is Answer begetting Question. An absolute truth, whose sole profit is to uncloak the absense of its own finality.
4:34 PM Nov 19th
from Birdhouse
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@ Caring. It's not common in older Americans, nor is it curable, but it can be treated. Ask your doctor about Scotch.
2:31 PM Nov 19th
from web
in reply to badbanana
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I'll admit I'm doing too many steroids when you admit that I just vacuumed this weak little pussified living room right up its fairy ass.
8:13 AM Nov 19th
from Birdhouse
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Everyone here acts like "Hogan's Heroes The Movie" was never even a thing that me and my friends got high and laughed about.
8:21 PM Nov 18th
from Birdhouse
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I AM @.
1:17 PM Nov 18th
from web
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Everyone seeks revenge for your paranoia.
5:34 PM Nov 17th
from Birdhouse
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I just passed up a free ticket to a rock concert so I could go hang out with trivia nerds. Oh God, I'M BECOMING THE OPPOSITE OF MY FATHER.
3:56 PM Nov 17th
from web
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When life hands you lemons, cram them in your pants to look like you have comically enormous testicles. Trust me. Lemonade = not funny.
10:49 AM Nov 16th
from Birdhouse
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- Name JTD
- Location memphis, tn
- Web http://www.slogan...
- Bio meaningless words 'neath life's bloated logo
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