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slantmouth

  1. We have been busy training pandas to use firearms. Dead interns are everywhere. In other news, we are accepting internship applications.12:00 PM Jun 23rd from web
  2. We are still watching, Interns. Back to work or it's back to the coal mine with all of you.1:14 PM Nov 19th, 2008 from web
  3. We've waged two weeks of war with Georgia, and it's boring. They're like, "What's goin' on, y'all?" And we're all like, "War, you morons!"8:41 PM Aug 25th, 2008 from web
  4. Screw it, if Russia's not going to invade Georgia, then WE WILL. Line up, boys, we're taking us some peaches!2:40 PM Aug 11th, 2008 from web
  5. We have been made aware that the COUNTRY of Georgia is under attack, not the State. Now, a moment of silence for interns lost in deployment.9:45 PM Aug 9th, 2008 from web
  6. Full scale intern alert! CODE RED! The Peach State is under attack! All hands on deck to deploy to Georgia! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!2:26 PM Aug 8th, 2008 from web
  7. Our mini Sun has collapsed upon itself and become a Black Hole. If you're not interested in being sucked into a singularity, please avoid.1:29 PM Aug 7th, 2008 from web
  8. Our mini Sun has gone all "Red Giant" on us. Moving offices on the 3rd floor accordingly. Someone should probably grab a bucket of water.8:47 AM Aug 4th, 2008 from web
  9. The Twitter hijacker has been located & fired... out of a cannon, into a gas-fueled, mini-replica of the Sun. We used goggles. Safety first.8:32 AM Aug 2nd, 2008 from web
  10. Whoever hijacked this thing last night is fired.8:28 AM Jul 31st, 2008 from web
  11. PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!9:17 PM Jul 30th, 2008 from web
  12. The janitorial staff is currently making their rounds. Please, place your waste product in the provided plastic bags, prepared for pickup.11:42 AM Jul 30th, 2008 from web
  13. Recent incidents of harassment & violence against white interns has made racial sensitivity training mandatory for all. Nice job, Brownies.4:51 PM Jul 28th, 2008 from web
  14. REMEMBER! Loose lips lose lives! We're in a war on TERROR, here people!8:13 AM Jul 28th, 2008 from web
  15. The AC in Sector 6 has resumed normal function after the remains of an intern were removed from the ducts. Please, stop escaping. Thank you.1:08 PM Jul 22nd, 2008 from web
  16. Interns, prove your loyalty and die for Slantmouth today. It only hurts the first time.8:00 PM Jul 21st, 2008 from web
  17. Intern #7263 (Ricky the Greek) will be posthumously named "Best Intern Ever". Current interns are welcomed to challenge this award by dying.1:51 PM Jul 21st, 2008 from web
  18. Thanks to the doubled, 92-intern army, The Colonel & Mr. Serpentine have secured iPhones. They'll be displaying them for worship at 8pm.3:49 PM Jul 18th, 2008 from web
  19. Despite the 46 interns we diverted from normal tasks, we have still been unsuccessful in securing an iPhone 3G. Damn you, Jobs!8:23 AM Jul 17th, 2008 from web
  20. Weekend toiling went splendidly. Only a paltry 14 interns began bleeding from their whip wounds. Most have formed back calluses, apparently.3:25 PM Jul 14th, 2008 from web
  • Name Slantmouth
  • Web http://slantmouth...
  • Bio A glimpse inside the walls of the illustrious Slantmouth Industries
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