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  1. The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man.- Charles Darwin
  2. I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. - Steven Wright
  3. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
  4. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. - Steven Wright
  5. "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." - Mary Bly
  6. Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?"-- Steven Wright
  7. Did you know the first pop video was Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, released in 1975?
  8. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. -Steven Wright
  9. Here is a simple but powerful rule? always give people more than what they expect to get." -Nelson Boswell
  10. If we don?t take care of our customers, someone else will.
  11. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. - Steven Wright
  12. Did you know on average you speak almost 5,000 words a day? Speak with purpose!
  13. http://www.skincow.com/auction_details.php?auction_id= - Up for auction at www.skincow.com
  14. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.-Steven Wright
  15. The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man.- Charles Darwin
  16. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?-Steven Wright
  17. Try to touch someone?s life today. All it takes is a warm smile, a handshake, a? thank you?.
  18. I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
  19. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.-Steven Wright
  20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?-Steven Wright