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skelwell

  1. Did you know that they have support groups for loneliness? Kinda solves the problem right there, don't you think? 12:52 PM Sep 25th from web
  2. @sydneysarachan You better have saved some high-end yogurt for me, bitch. Also, "sex stores" and "craft stores" are not the same thing. 12:52 PM Sep 25th from web
  3. Never realized how much drug paraphenalia they sold at arts & craft stores. Coke mirrors, pot baggies, Bead-Dazzler refills...party time! 10:52 AM Sep 25th from txt
  4. Question of the day, Twittosphere: What is the opposite of bread? We're dying to hear your answers! #oppositeofbread 10:28 AM Sep 24th from web
  5. Cute girl starts joking with me in the cereal aisle. My smooth line: 'Ha! Do you know where the milk is?' This is why I'm single. 4:59 PM Sep 23rd from txt
  6. WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, REN & STIMPY? OUR NATION TURNS ITS LONELY EYES TO YOU... 7:48 PM Sep 18th from web
  7. R.I.P Patrick Swayze...Nobody puts Baby in the coffin! 5:52 PM Sep 14th from txt
  8. @noeyt44 But Noey, I live-tweet 30 Rock too! Although you are the faster one, so perhaps we will elect you House Tweeter. 6:35 PM Sep 9th from web
  9. Michelle, don't be a pouty pants! You are pretty and in Congress tonight, and Bam is giving a speechy-poo! Smile, Lady! 5:24 PM Sep 9th from web
  10. Sweet Joey B. (Joe Biden) is so tall and majestic up there, he is almost a Golden American Eagle! 5:11 PM Sep 9th from web
  11. Bam is starting in a minute! MAKE THEM SUCK A BIG FAT PUBLIC OPTION DICK, MR. PRESIDENT! 5:02 PM Sep 9th from web
  12. Thank god Hitler never found out about New Jersey! We'd all be screwed! 1:31 PM Sep 6th from txt
  13. @HMcConnell You can't trust the Swedes, Heather! How many times have I told you exactly that! 8:03 AM Sep 4th from web
  14. Another giant leap for mankind: as of today someone has touched both my penis and @sydneysarachan 's boobs. 1:40 PM Sep 2nd from web
  15. Family wedding tonight upstate. And if grandma thinks she can beat me in yet another dance off, well bitch has another thing coming... 12:47 PM Aug 29th from web
  16. A classic that's been forgotten...Colonel Angus: http://snipurl.com/qylkm 10:14 AM Aug 25th from web
  17. Remind me never to have my premature babies in Paraguay: http://tinyurl.com/ls2f7k 11:45 AM Aug 10th from web
  18. LkeIn cab going north on FDR. No clothes. This will be a problem soon. There seems to have been a car crash involing me, Send lawyers, g ... 10:31 AM Aug 9th from txt
  19. In 2007 I lost my blazer at the Union Square McDonald's at 3 a.m. Just saw a homeless guy on 86th is a SUSPICIOUSLY SIMILAR blazer. Police!! 3:43 PM Aug 8th from web
  20. @megwheel You're a lying sack, wheeler...but you're good at it, and that's all that counts 8:25 PM Aug 4th from web