skelwell
- I always thought I was prepared to stand before greatness, but I am unworthy of this moment: Thanks @11:12 AM Nov 5th from web
- At Blackstones bar. I said that in my heart of hearts I could never love the bar ho. @ said that ''In my dick of dicks, I could. ''7:01 PM Nov 4th from txt
- @ is teaching @ the crow position she learned in yoga. Noey can't do it without attempting (inaccurate) crow sounds: "ha haw!"6:46 PM Nov 3rd from web
- Twitter just told me it liked my new photo! Oh Twitter you dirty flirt!2:36 PM Nov 3rd from web
- Everything, and I mean EVERY fucking thing that ever was or will be, rests on my dinosaur hat being delivered tomorrow. Gods, hear us now...8:08 PM Oct 29th from web
- I'm crowd-sourcing a children's book about a family of rabbits called "Who's In My Hole?" Open call for first sentences...12:17 PM Oct 28th from web
- Today I decided to form Little Twitaly, a Twitter mafia to extort, money-launder and do hit jobs. If you don't join me now you'll be sorry.6:22 AM Oct 28th from web
- Tonight mom had to tell dad to stop doing whippits at the dinner table. That should answer all questions about my upbringing.6:10 PM Oct 25th from txt
- @ When I lack one piece of musical knowledge, my brain creates another: Cat Stevens sounds like the fat guy in Blues Traveler8:57 AM Oct 22nd from web
- Google Wave will be the hottest collaborative technology since Megazord! I'm a social media guru, I am authorized to say that.11:11 AM Oct 20th from web
- "Where the Wild Things Are" was over my head. So much for those decades of cognitive development since I last encountered the material...9:58 AM Oct 19th from web
- @ And with a few more moments, mystery solved. is owned by Italian firm Guerriglia Marketing. Damn I'm good.7:30 PM Oct 15th from web
- @ I'm calling hoax on httt://www.thisman.org ... It will be the second bluff I called today, after that little balloon bastard7:23 PM Oct 15th from web
- @ I am captivated by your gripping and emotional reporting of the saga. You're like the Anderson Cooper of Twitter1:53 PM Oct 15th from web
- My whole time in NZ I never got to touch a lamb. Except for with my mouth, but it was already cooked by then. Seriously. I'm not like that..6:46 AM Oct 12th from web
- If God had a Twitter, what would it be like and would you tweet @ him to his face? If tweeting meant that you would have to believe...7:39 PM Sep 28th from web
- Not every asian man you see is John Cho, @5:49 PM Sep 28th from txt
- @ You do NOT want to go toe-to-toe with me on bird law, Mr. Big Shot Lawyer10:07 AM Sep 28th from web
- "'Super Nanny' is the stupidest show on television. They should just change it to 'Slap Your Goddamn Kids Already'" - my sister8:26 PM Sep 27th from web
- @ If you're going to have Elvis stuck in your head, at least go for "Suspicious Minds"...better for howling along to1:26 PM Sep 25th from web
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