skelwell
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@ So does that mean nuts are the hermaphrodites of the plant world? Would be ironic, given the name...
7:23 PM Dec 21st
from web
in reply to Peeta
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I swear I'm not high, but I was just eating some almonds and I started to wonder: what's the difference between nuts and seeds? Anyone?
5:00 PM Dec 21st
from txt
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My hair is a delicate ecosystem, and the cold is throwing it all off balance. I'm going to shave it all off and make it an icy tundra.
12:38 PM Dec 21st
from web
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Gotta love a fat kid in a skeleton hoodie. Now that's what I call big boned -- heyoooo!
4:40 PM Dec 4th
from txt
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Real Jersey Shore quote #2 of the night: 'I mean, I'm a bartender. I like, do great things.'
8:24 PM Dec 3rd
from txt
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Real Jersey Shore quote: 'Work?! I don't even wanna work -- I'm a DJ'
7:56 PM Dec 3rd
from txt
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MTV's Jersey Shore...just one extra chromosome and this could have been my fate.
7:52 PM Dec 3rd
from txt
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For heterosexuality's sake I am doing everything I can to resist the unnatural urge to sing along to Bad Romance...lord give me the stregnth
9:35 PM Nov 28th
from txt
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Just saw the 2009 Hess truck commercial. It's a racecar INSIDE ANOTHER RACECAR! America is back on top, diversity children's choir and all!!
4:56 PM Nov 19th
from txt
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I always thought I was prepared to stand before greatness, but I am unworthy of this moment: Thanks @
11:12 AM Nov 5th
from web
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At Blackstones bar. I said that in my heart of hearts I could never love the bar ho. @ said that ''In my dick of dicks, I could. ''
7:01 PM Nov 4th
from txt
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@ is teaching @ the crow position she learned in yoga. Noey can't do it without attempting (inaccurate) crow sounds: "ha haw!"
6:46 PM Nov 3rd
from web
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Twitter just told me it liked my new photo! Oh Twitter you dirty flirt!
2:36 PM Nov 3rd
from web
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Everything, and I mean EVERY fucking thing that ever was or will be, rests on my dinosaur hat being delivered tomorrow. Gods, hear us now...
8:08 PM Oct 29th
from web
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I'm crowd-sourcing a children's book about a family of rabbits called "Who's In My Hole?" Open call for first sentences...
12:17 PM Oct 28th
from web
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Today I decided to form Little Twitaly, a Twitter mafia to extort, money-launder and do hit jobs. If you don't join me now you'll be sorry.
6:22 AM Oct 28th
from web
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Tonight mom had to tell dad to stop doing whippits at the dinner table. That should answer all questions about my upbringing.
6:10 PM Oct 25th
from txt
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@ When I lack one piece of musical knowledge, my brain creates another: Cat Stevens sounds like the fat guy in Blues Traveler
8:57 AM Oct 22nd
from web
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Google Wave will be the hottest collaborative technology since Megazord! I'm a social media guru, I am authorized to say that.
11:11 AM Oct 20th
from web
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"Where the Wild Things Are" was over my head. So much for those decades of cognitive development since I last encountered the material...
9:58 AM Oct 19th
from web
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