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skelwell

  1. @Peeta So does that mean nuts are the hermaphrodites of the plant world? Would be ironic, given the name... 7:23 PM Dec 21st from web in reply to Peeta
  2. I swear I'm not high, but I was just eating some almonds and I started to wonder: what's the difference between nuts and seeds? Anyone? 5:00 PM Dec 21st from txt
  3. My hair is a delicate ecosystem, and the cold is throwing it all off balance. I'm going to shave it all off and make it an icy tundra. 12:38 PM Dec 21st from web
  4. Gotta love a fat kid in a skeleton hoodie. Now that's what I call big boned -- heyoooo! 4:40 PM Dec 4th from txt
  5. Real Jersey Shore quote #2 of the night: 'I mean, I'm a bartender. I like, do great things.' 8:24 PM Dec 3rd from txt
  6. Real Jersey Shore quote: 'Work?! I don't even wanna work -- I'm a DJ' 7:56 PM Dec 3rd from txt
  7. MTV's Jersey Shore...just one extra chromosome and this could have been my fate. 7:52 PM Dec 3rd from txt
  8. For heterosexuality's sake I am doing everything I can to resist the unnatural urge to sing along to Bad Romance...lord give me the stregnth 9:35 PM Nov 28th from txt
  9. Just saw the 2009 Hess truck commercial. It's a racecar INSIDE ANOTHER RACECAR! America is back on top, diversity children's choir and all!! 4:56 PM Nov 19th from txt
  10. I always thought I was prepared to stand before greatness, but I am unworthy of this moment: http://snipurl.com/t2s5y Thanks @sydneysarachan 11:12 AM Nov 5th from web
  11. At Blackstones bar. I said that in my heart of hearts I could never love the bar ho. @jayhutch said that ''In my dick of dicks, I could. '' 7:01 PM Nov 4th from txt
  12. @jtrocc is teaching @noeyt44 the crow position she learned in yoga. Noey can't do it without attempting (inaccurate) crow sounds: "ha haw!" 6:46 PM Nov 3rd from web
  13. Twitter just told me it liked my new photo! Oh Twitter you dirty flirt! 2:36 PM Nov 3rd from web
  14. Everything, and I mean EVERY fucking thing that ever was or will be, rests on my dinosaur hat being delivered tomorrow. Gods, hear us now... 8:08 PM Oct 29th from web
  15. I'm crowd-sourcing a children's book about a family of rabbits called "Who's In My Hole?" Open call for first sentences... 12:17 PM Oct 28th from web
  16. Today I decided to form Little Twitaly, a Twitter mafia to extort, money-launder and do hit jobs. If you don't join me now you'll be sorry. 6:22 AM Oct 28th from web
  17. Tonight mom had to tell dad to stop doing whippits at the dinner table. That should answer all questions about my upbringing. 6:10 PM Oct 25th from txt
  18. @sydneysarachan When I lack one piece of musical knowledge, my brain creates another: Cat Stevens sounds like the fat guy in Blues Traveler 8:57 AM Oct 22nd from web
  19. Google Wave will be the hottest collaborative technology since Megazord! I'm a social media guru, I am authorized to say that. 11:11 AM Oct 20th from web
  20. "Where the Wild Things Are" was over my head. So much for those decades of cognitive development since I last encountered the material... 9:58 AM Oct 19th from web