sista_flapjack
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"Tally ho! Pip pip! Bugger! Twat! Bloody hell! Bollocks!"
My last lesson from Rosetta Stone & I'm ready to speak the Queen's English.
about 2 hours ago
from Tweetie
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BOY I HOPE MY KLONIPIN AND AMBIEN KICK IN BEFORE I GO APESHIT ON THIS AIRPL zzzzzzz
about 11 hours ago
from Tweetie
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Eating is like masturbating: it's more fun when you do it with someone.
5:07 PM Nov 29th
from web
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HEY GUYS! WAKE UP! I'M ON VACATION AND PACKING FOR MY VISIT TO THE UK!!
And by packing, I mean dicking around the internetz.
5:00 AM Nov 29th
from Tweetie
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"And, NO.
I didn't go make some bacon and eat a clementine in the nude.
I prefer the term undressed."
-Text I wrote last night.
8:05 AM Nov 28th
from Tweetie
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Where did all the ketupat go? Oh yeah, @ ate it with her pudding.
Salam Aidilfitri, to my favourite Muslim!
11:47 AM Nov 27th
from Tweetie
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All the assholes are at the mall & off the roads.It's a good thing since I've promoted the dog to pilot while I take over sleeping & farting
7:15 AM Nov 27th
from Tweetie
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@ I did the same thing. It also helps if it is tight.
6:52 AM Nov 27th
from Tweetie
in reply to abigvictory
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I agree with @. I signed up for a free trial of Amazon Prime and hope to get most things without a stampede of people
9:17 PM Nov 26th
from Tweetie
in reply to essentially_me
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If my UK peeps want some leftover turkey, I can bring some with me & give it to you in about 4 days, 5 hours, 55 minutes & 30 seconds.
7:29 PM Nov 26th
from web
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I win Thanksgiving! My dinner includes egg rolls AND turkey!
1:00 PM Nov 26th
from Tweetie
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@ I will go with that, but you know that YOU are my favorite Muslim ever, right?
8:01 PM Nov 25th
from web
in reply to lisarahmat
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I need to come up with something I'm thankful for before tomorrow. Otherwise, it will be really awkward when I say "my vibrator".
6:21 PM Nov 25th
from Birdhouse
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I'm in a minivan.
In Ohio.
Send booze.
2:30 PM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
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30 miles into 270 mile drive & I have only cried two times and stopped for emergency chocolate once.
And so my holiday depression begins.
10:11 AM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
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Did I miss the memo that today is "Turn Signal Optional" Tuesday?
Oh, how I wish I had some of @'s driving signs to wave.
6:40 AM Nov 24th
from Tweetie
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The only thing getting me through today is the knowledge of having two more days of work this week.
That and snorting my Adderall™.
12:44 PM Nov 23rd
from Birdhouse
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Someone called the police on me because I'm parked outside their house..
Minding my own business..
Using their "free" WIFI.
10:50 AM Nov 23rd
from Tweetie
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@ YOU SAW THAT?
Shit.. I didn't think the cameras were on.
10:31 AM Nov 23rd
from Tweetie
in reply to gblakeman
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If you can state your problem in 5 words or less, I will take care of you 3 times faster.
5:49 AM Nov 23rd
from Tweetie
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- Name Sista Flapjack
- Location Next door
- Web http://favrd.text...
- Bio In search of good music, new sites/sights, and the meaning of life. Oh, and any place that serves homemade mac & cheese.
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