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simanoff

  1. @rommiej it's not self-deprecating humor if it's not humor to begin with!
  2. "I'm sorry, Dave. Error_too_many_open_files." #1stdraftmovielines
  3. "Return your tray tables to the upright and locked position, gentlemen. It's going to be a bumpy night." #1stdraftmovielines
  4. @CharlesTrippy It's "Shaun of the Dead," of course. Simon Pegg's best post-"Spaced" work!
  5. Why is sulphur dioxide one of the ingredients of Twizzlers? Surely there are better ways to maintain freshness, right? http://tr.im/ppEL
  6. @jonsel The Jon & Kate kids MUST be special effects (a la Ewoks). What parents would drag their own children through such garbage on teevee?
  7. To the next writer assigned to cover Kodak's discontinuance of Kodachrome film: Don't mention Paul Simon in the lede. It's been done.
  8. @jonsel They aren't children. They are special effects. The CGI is quite spectacular, don't you think? Frank Oz does the voices.
  9. @drpaulabloom It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you.
  10. It is so fucking hot. Sunshine on my shoulder does not make me happy.
  11. I am contemplating reading "Infinite Jest," a book I have put off for who-knows-how-many years. Any thoughts?
  12. Can't wait for that new documentary that shows Baby, Ginger, Posh, Scary, and Sporty driving rigs through Alaska: Spice Road Truckers.
  13. You say tor-NAY-do, I say tor-NAH-do. http://twitpic.com/7wa4l
  14. Yay! Amy Fisher will be performing in my hometown soon. She tells the local media “it's a very classy show...not really a stripper show.”
  15. I don't have any makeup, @amandapalmer, but I feel pretty, Twitty, and gay. Can I be part of the Friday night club?
  16. I feel twitty, oh so twitty. I feel twitty and witty and gay.
  17. OK, I get it. It's only $5 for a footlong. That's great, but do they have to get all snotty when you ask for a wine pairing? RT @rommiej
  18. The Iraqi Supreme Court has just declared that the official winner of the election is ... George W. Bush.
  19. @TheStew I'd be interested in knowing which young comedians he thinks best reflects the Jewish experience in today. Who's his oy boy?
  20. @taopauly Nobody needs Waffle House. Ever.