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shitmymommasays

  1. "I just love that Oprah Winfrey! Used to be there was only crap on TV in the afternoon! She's one jazzy gal! Now get the hell out, it's on!" 6:41 PM Nov 19th from web
  2. "What the hell is wrong with my underwear?Jesus Christ! They're Lollipop cotton briefs! You girls could learn a thing or two about modesty!" 6:25 PM Nov 19th from web
  3. "You kids have no respect! Farting in mass, during the Eucharist! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" 2:05 PM Nov 17th from web
  4. "There are children starving in Biafra for Chistssake! Now you kids will eat your godamn lunches or yer father will strap you with a belt!" 7:20 PM Nov 12th from web
  5. "Sister Immaculata called today. She said you kids were throwing away your lunches today. What the hell is wrong with Deviled Ham? Jesus!" 7:11 PM Nov 12th from web
  6. "Yer father caught me at the Teepee Bar again. He's no fun anymore just a goddamn jellyfish!" 5:14 PM Nov 6th from web
  7. "You kids are a bunch of no-good sonfoabtiches. How dare you talk to me with such disrespect! I'm calling the Bishop and the Holy Mother!" 4:46 PM Nov 2nd from web
  8. "I've been in the hospital! Now get the hell out ! Wait.. bring me some tea and toast...that goddamn shit they feed you will kill you.." 6:41 PM Oct 26th from web
  9. "When I am constipated your father gives me a good enema." 6:49 PM Oct 6th from web
  10. " I have to void. Don't say 'you mean pee' that's vulgar! Why can't you girls act like ladies! Jesus Christ! " 6:15 PM Oct 3rd from web
  11. 'Your no-good brother is coming to dinner with his 20 year old Russian bride he got off the internet! Don't mention the fact he's 55 again!" 5:55 PM Oct 1st from web
  12. "Jesus Christ, if you have hemorrhoids, ask your father what to do. He knows all about being an ass. Here, take my sitz bath and get out." 6:23 PM Sep 30th from web
  13. "The Bishop is coming for dinner. Yes you have to come goddamnit! And dress like a lady for a change, you look like a tramp in that top!" 8:55 AM Sep 29th from web
  14. "Television has been nothing but crap since Lawrence Welk. Now that was a good show. Now get the hell out, Days Of Our Lives is starting." 1:13 PM Sep 28th from web
  15. "What did that no good bastard down the street say to you? FUCK? No, don't call your father he has no guts. I'll handle that sonofabitch!" 8:23 PM Sep 25th from web
  16. "Where's your sister? What do you mean you don't know? She's three years old and you don't know where you left her? Jesus Mary and Joseph!" 8:55 AM Sep 24th from web
  17. "Yes I prefer to use the rectal thermometer! I am a nurse and it gives the most accurate reading. Now mind your goddamn business!" 8:05 PM Sep 18th from web
  18. "Your goddamn great-grandfather lost the dairy farm in the depression. There went the family wealth. So no, you can not have any money!" 5:48 PM Sep 17th from web
  19. "I don't care if your father said you did not have to, he has no guts! Now eat your goddamn Chef Boyardee. You may not throw up this time!" 5:10 PM Sep 16th from web
  20. "Did you kids get another goddamn cat? I think I just ran it over in the driveway. Be a darlin and check, would you?" 4:52 PM Sep 15th from web
  • Name Shit My Mom Says
  • Bio Our mom is an Irish trip and says unbelievable things.
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