shitehouse
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My tweets are irregular as my poops.
5:48 AM Jun 21st, 2009
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When I'm alone and it's quiet, my guts make bubbling noises. It makes me feel even more lonely.
7:49 PM Jun 16th, 2009
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Something tragic is about to happen.
9:12 AM Jun 13th, 2009
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My husband just scored a free curbside pink toilet. I'm going to plant flowers in the bowl and tank. Think it'll piss off the neighbors?
4:27 PM May 16th, 2009
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I'm constipated. Pooping like a rabbit.
5:34 PM May 14th, 2009
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Why do cats always stare at you when they poop?
4:59 AM May 10th, 2009
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I should probably chew my food more thoroughly.
1:49 PM Apr 30th, 2009
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I used to work in a home furnishing department. I always farted in the potpourri isle.
6:22 PM Apr 29th, 2009
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I've been employed 15 years and I've never pooped at work. Honest.
2:24 PM Apr 28th, 2009
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Psyllium fiber makes things happen.
1:09 PM Apr 24th, 2009
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Give us this day our daily bread: 'Pumpernickel' translated is 'Devil Fart'.
2:20 PM Apr 23rd, 2009
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The fact that we have butt cheeks and most animals don't; is this an evolution of human shame?
2:27 PM Apr 21st, 2009
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FD&C Blue No.1 Lake makes my poop green.
1:38 AM Apr 21st, 2009
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My parents' dog ate a braided rug once. Ever see a dog shit a 10 ft rope? It's an all day event.
1:54 PM Apr 20th, 2009
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Once, my best friend shat in the woods and we laughed at the steam rising from the pile. She wiped her ass with a love letter.
9:53 AM Apr 19th, 2009
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The form of the stool depends on the time it spends in the colon.
1:22 PM Apr 18th, 2009
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Tripping on LSD when I was 17, I watched an iguana take a huge shit on AstroTurf. I was listening to the Downward Spiral. It was intense.
2:09 PM Apr 17th, 2009
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Nothing says FUCK MY GUTS quite like a bag of dried calimyrna figs.
2:55 PM Apr 16th, 2009
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I pray to God that my posthumous poop will shatter the pathos of my death. Or, at the very least, piss off the coroner.
3:35 PM Apr 15th, 2009
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Reading PerezHilton inspires mass movement of the bowels.
2:06 PM Apr 15th, 2009
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- Name appendy shitehouse
- Location bathroom
- Web http://milkplusme...
- Bio Is this the place that launched a thousand shits?
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