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shh

  1. i feel strongly
  2. i no longer trust my instincts. i can't trust my heart. i wanna love but i have been rejected so much i have become afraid to. i am a cliché
  3. so when i found the penny i held it tight and closed my eyes and wished my wish as hard as i could. i deserve that wish to come true.
  4. i feel okay about me.
  5. i feel happy and optimistic yet there is a strand of sadness somewhere inside me, i can sense it. i don't want to explore it, but i feel it.
  6. other times i see myself without seeing: an assortment of shapes with no meaning without context, just lines and objects seemingly at random
  7. sometimes i glimpse myself and i think i fit in with my surroundings. i think i am no different from them.
  8. if you are wondering "who says that to someone?": know that i wonder it too, often
  9. sometimes i wish it would rain. not just showers, not just drizzle. if it is to rain i wish it would pour down hard all day, all night
  10. sometimes i just can't sleep
  11. woke up early to the roar of a sudden downpour. across the alleyway someone's listening to the opera. it's july, but it's late september.
  12. all these years. it's unreal to me. i've loved many, but none rival the effect you had on me, have on me
  13. i wanna lay quiet in the dark and i wanna listen to rain on earth. i can imagine it's crinkling paper, i can imagine it's static electricity
  14. i want to know i can live with all the things i do. but that is the easy part. what about things i don't do?
  15. as i get older the beautiful things in life grow ever more so... sometimes i feel so full of wonder it almost aches
  16. emotions are the richness, they are the colour. they are the cheese on top, the cream in the middle.
  17. i am so lucky.
  18. i'm not sorry that i embarrassed myself, but i am sorry that i embarrassed you.
  19. i wonder if there will ever be a time he isn't the commonest figure in my dreams.
  20. love is not a business decision. i can't explain my feelings with a spreadsheet.