Profile_bird

Hey there! scutmonkey is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What's happening? Join today to start receiving scutmonkey's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

scutmonkey

  1. Nuts being a symbol of fertility in ancient Mesopotamia, the cradle of civilization. (Note: not an literal cradle. OR IS IT?)
  2. Against better judgement, am reading "The Lost Symbol." Synopsis: Langdon is condescending know-it-all, needs to get a knee to the nuts.
  3. (Dark brown nylon Sauconys: five stars. Tan suede KangaRoos: two stars.)
  4. One ranking criteria they should have on Zappos.com is how easy it is to remove bloodstains from different pairs of shoes.
  5. When Southern ladies say, "Bless your heart!" what they really mean is, "You are dim-witted and I will pretend I think that's adorable."
  6. "Scutmonkey" manuscript, 4th revision in the can. That's right, 4th revision. Feel like I have been working on this since the dawn of time.
  7. Either that, or Mack is turning into a seal.
  8. Turns out no matter how long it's been since you've worked in the Peds ER, you never forget the sound of croup.
  9. Really excited to have an extra hour to work this weekend. Unfortunately, I don't think babies know about daylight savings time.
  10. Stopped by Target on the way home today purely to practice pulling into and then out of a busy shopping center. Only got honked at once!
  11. My pet peeve is ladies who live their lives like they exist in a "Cathy" comic strip. Ack!
  12. Anyway, I wrapped them both in bubble wrap before we left the house.
  13. Let it be clear that if it were up to me I would not ever drive with my kids, but Joe is out of town and we needed to get to a school thing.
  14. Also, you think driving with a new license is scary? Try having to drive with your kids in the car for the very first time. TERRIFYING.
  15. If I had known that they were going to re-take my picture for my license, I probably would have at least brushed my hair.
  16. So...I passed the road test and got my driver's license today. Also, I am thirty-one years old. This could be some kind of record.
  17. Obligatory mid-autumn posing of offspring with pumpkins: http://bit.ly/2wmZjN (See also: hayride, corn maze, hot cider.)
  18. This weekend we got a weed-whacker and a grill for the backyard. The testosterone levels in this house are so high I'm growing a beard.
  19. The Starbucks where I am working is directly across from a Waffle House. I am intrigued. Is it like IHOP? Should I eat there? Please advise.
  20. You know what would be the greatest innovation ever? See-through moving boxes! Don't steal my idea, guys. I'm about to be a gajillionaire.