Profile_bird

Hey there! scottsimpson is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? Join today to start receiving scottsimpson's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

scottsimpson

  1. Loan approved. One more tiny thing: there may be the industrial equivalent of an old Indian burial ground under the house. We learn in 1 hr.11 minutes ago from Birdhouse
  2. It's not that I have to buy tampons. It's that I have to search for a specific level of flow control.about 16 hours ago from Birdhouse
  3. I can't tell if this commercial is for the Army or deoderant.about 18 hours ago from Birdhouse
  4. If Damien Hirst ran a snack stand, he would sell @lonelysandwich's Banana Chip Surprise: http://yfrog.com/becs4pj12:08 PM Nov 6th from Twitterrific
  5. Gross—the November issue of Harper's just emoted all over my PJ's.10:21 PM Nov 5th from Birdhouse
  6. Why am I so in love with the idea that I'll be able to jog from my new house to the airport in 20 minutes?1:53 PM Nov 5th from Twitterrific
  7. So far, my favorite part about buying a house is when you scan all of your most personal financial documents and email them to a stranger.10:43 AM Nov 5th from Twitterrific
  8. B-Minus Hoaxes: "Balloon Boy," "Capone's Vault," John Birks "Dizzy" Gillespie.12:04 PM Nov 4th from web
  9. If asked what I'm up to, I now have to say "drinkin' some appletinis, doin' some online banking." CURSE YOU @robbaedeker. http://is.gd/4N5T69:10 AM Nov 4th from web
  10. How can Hamid Karzai be corrupt? He's so handsome!3:41 PM Nov 3rd from Twitterrific
  11. Of 120 pieces on hand, 9 were claimed. Our Halloween Candy Overpurchase Rate: 1,233%.8:16 PM Oct 31st from web
  12. The grocery store carries seven different kinds of fabric softener, and not one of them smells like donuts.5:01 PM Oct 31st from web
  13. I've gotten some good replies already, so let me ask you: what is your LOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE LAST MEAL?6:58 PM Oct 30th from Birdhouse
  14. SCAAARY STORY: Inmate Lee Sams Jr. has been on death row for 48 years, avoiding execution by requesting a LOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE LAST MEAL.3:07 PM Oct 30th from Birdhouse
  15. One more for @gruber: http://flic.kr/p/7bDnwx1:08 PM Oct 30th from Flickr
  16. "Overshooting Minneapolis in the cockpit with my co-pilot."10:32 AM Oct 29th from Twitterrific
  17. My Social Security card looks like something from a Civil War museum. How are these things still important? Also: 154-95-654710:19 AM Oct 29th from Twitterrific
  18. I showed up early at my real estate agent's office so I got to catch the tail end of their daily drinking-the-blood-of-infants ritual.8:46 AM Oct 29th from Twitterrific
  19. Oops, that was meant to be a DM. Now I have to have you all over to use my hot tub, because THAT'S THE LAW.5:13 PM Oct 28th from Twitterrific
  20. Hey. How's house? Our 2nd offer was accepted. If it closes you can come over and use our hottub.4:56 PM Oct 28th from Twitterrific