sarkastickunt
- Unhooking my bra is like wriggling free from an anaconda.about 5 hours ago from Tumblr
- So other than Sammy Sosa turning himself into a fat white woman, what else is going on?about 7 hours ago from Tumblr
- If you promise to stop lying right to my face I promise to stop spitting in your dinner before I serve it to you.about 9 hours ago from web
- I'm in my room with the door locked. My sexually frustrated self is sad my fat self opted out of masturbation to eat chip and dip instead.about 10 hours ago from Tumblr
- If you think all it takes to please a woman is your pointy tongue and 2 unclipped fingers, turn the porn off and get yourself a clue.about 11 hours ago from Tumblr
- Guys, if your idea of foreplay is asking for a blow job, may I suggest a book on intimacy? Ya know, for when you get your head out your ass.about 12 hours ago from web
- Ever have one of those days where all you need is someone to tell you you're amazing? - I’m having a mini... about 14 hours ago from Tumblr
- You're 55, drive a red convertible and you're wearing foundation? Wouldn't just wearing a shirt that says you have a small dick be easier?about 15 hours ago from Tumblr
- Ovulation has ruined my morning, my mood, and two pairs of my favorite panties. Why do I need ovaries again?about 16 hours ago from Tumblr
- When I shake my head and smile it doesn't mean I'm agreeing with you, it means I'm replaying the last five minutes of Footloose in my head.about 18 hours ago from TwitterBerry
- I woke up grumpy and cranky. Usually he gets up on his own, but this morning he needed some help.about 18 hours ago from TwitterBerry
- A vagina is not a chicken cutlet. Using baby powder like its bread crumbs isn't sexy. All it does is turn your crotch into cake batter.5:04 PM Nov 8th from TwitterBerry
- I was in Maryland, at a Renaissance wedding. I think that joke needs no further explanation.3:03 PM Nov 8th from TwitterBerry
- I can tell by the stench of hot garbage and traffic caused by an abundance of SUV's that we're back in New York. Miss me?1:22 PM Nov 8th from TwitterBerry
- The hangover from hell, rancid pot roast, and flat tires. Oh Maryland, how I'll miss you.9:15 AM Nov 8th from TwitterBerry
- Apparently, you've now drunck uneless you tweit with typos.
Happy now my bitches?????6:38 PM Nov 7th from TwitterBerry
- Who has two thumbs and is drunk in Maryland?6:32 PM Nov 7th from TwitterBerry
- @...Maryland edition 10:03 AM Nov 7th from TwitterBerry
- The Welcome to Maryland face.9:34 AM Nov 7th from TwitterBerry
- The answer to Where the Wild Things Are is rotting on the side of I-95.9:15 AM Nov 7th from TwitterBerry
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- Name ms. diagnosed
- Location Slowly going out of my mind.
- Web http://sarkastick...
- Bio Mother, daughter, carnivore, social drunk, shit talker, flirt and procrastinator du jour
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