Profile_bird

Hey there! sandwichpolice is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What's happening? Join today to start receiving sandwichpolice's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

sandwichpolice

  1. I have never been this proud of myself. I'm so happy right now. about 7 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. @toddster Aww, Boo. about 7 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to toddster
  3. Emotional hell ride. But I am so glad. Thankful even. :) about 8 hours ago from Tweetie
  4. You know what Best Buy, when I'm waiting for a booty email you do NOT tell me about YOUR FUCKING BLACK FRIDAY SALE AND GET ME ALL EXCITED! about 11 hours ago from Tweetie
  5. .@riccalo to her husband: Can you leave the room for a sec? Gotta let some crazy slip. [He leaves] I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT MY NEW MAKE-UP! about 13 hours ago from Tweetie
  6. http://bit.ly/795bY5 SO LONG, AMERICAN TV. HELLO, TELE! about 15 hours ago from Tweetie
  7. @thepigbaby you can fix it with a kit you buy online. I fixed mine. It was $64 including shipping. about 15 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to thepigbaby
  8. If there's a reggae song that doesn't say the word "reggae" in it, I haven't heard it. about 15 hours ago from Tweetie
  9. My favorite farts are the ones that sound like you're calling someone in another country on a rotary phone. about 17 hours ago from Tweetie
  10. @toddster For a nominal fee. about 18 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to toddster
  11. ...I still do. about 18 hours ago from Tweetie
  12. "No clothes on anybody. Sickening!" I used to want to be Kevin McAllister. about 18 hours ago from Tweetie
  13. @lonelysandwich You can get rid of your gag reflex by folding your left thumb into the palm of your hand and squeezing. You know, for BJs. about 18 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to lonelysandwich
  14. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID YA LITTLE JERK!" about 18 hours ago from Tweetie
  15. "You're what the French call les incompétents." "What." I had to go with Home Alone. about 18 hours ago from Tweetie
  16. Uncle Buck and Home Alone are starting right now! WHICH ONE DO I WATCH??? THEY'RE BOTH MY FAVORITE! about 18 hours ago from Tweetie
  17. Mom stopped by to let me know I missed Thanksgiving. Now I have something to be thankful for! (Srsly? It's not even 1:30!) about 19 hours ago from Tweetie
  18. Today would be a good time to share how glad I am to have @toddster, @dry_hump and @douglassherwood in my life. Good dudes. Hell of good. about 20 hours ago from Tweetie
  19. @douglassherwood You are my favorite grumpy asshole. I adore you. :) about 20 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to douglassherwood
  20. Thanksgiving Pro-Tip: Just hum quietly to yourself. Nobody will ask what you're going to do with your life. Plus it's actually fun to hum! about 20 hours ago from Tweetie