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samhey

  1. Not just saying because of the cocktails: this year I'm also thankful for all 'yall. Happy gobble. about 3 hours ago from Power Twitter
  2. Whenever I call home from work it's like I'm beaming down to some planet in mid-annihilation. about 6 hours ago from Birdhouse
  3. I dreaMED A DREAM OF TIMES GONE BYYYY / when music wAS MORE THAN DUDES KISSINNGGG about 10 hours ago from Birdhouse
  4. I'll give my mother-in-law this: she wears her Movember well. 6:47 PM Nov 24th from Birdhouse
  5. Man, that bris hit the spot. 12:21 PM Nov 24th from Birdfeed
  6. In addition to his toots, @apelad has been AMAZING with recent 'default-twitter'-shaped avatars. Troll his stream for them. Truly beautiful. 10:13 PM Nov 23rd from Power Twitter
  7. Exclamation points are the skid marks of the internet. 5:22 PM Nov 23rd from web
  8. My mother-in-law is like Yoda, except without any Jedi powers or wisdom. 10:22 AM Nov 23rd from Birdhouse
  9. I buy a new leotard for the Sarah Palin workout video, and two reps into the 'mooseskinner' I go and sprain my dignity. That crafty bitch. 2:56 PM Nov 22nd from Birdhouse
  10. Today we sing pancake songs. 8:29 AM Nov 22nd from Birdfeed
  11. After convincing daughter to wear clean star underwear instead of dirty moon ones, I'm ready to bring peace to the middle east. 12:46 PM Nov 21st from Birdhouse
  12. Through sing-alongs and science fairs, they WILL DESTROY US. 7:49 PM Nov 20th from web
  13. @tj don't worry. Your mom is my constant. 3:16 PM Nov 20th from Birdfeed in reply to tj
  14. I just went all Daniel Faraday on that plate of tacos. 2:11 PM Nov 20th from Birdhouse
  15. Hello fat jeans my old friend I've come to walk with you again 7:33 AM Nov 20th from web
  16. First of all, It's called "the Shocker," doctor. And no, I guess I didn't really think through how the goat might react. 5:37 PM Nov 19th from Birdhouse
  17. What is the appropriate nickname for a butt afro? I'm asking for my butt. 2:00 PM Nov 19th from Birdhouse
  18. Most raisins aint sweet as grapes but DAMN your grandmomma FINE, girl 3:59 PM Nov 18th from Birdhouse
  19. I'll wager $1800 that Alex Trebek's manscaping is superb. 8:12 AM Nov 18th from Birdhouse
  20. Having a mirror that looks like an iPhone means they think I'm working as I caress the reflection of my lips for 30 minutes. 5:28 PM Nov 17th from Birdhouse