sailormartin
This not selling liquor on Sunday business is for the birds. Birds who don't drink. And who are, it follows, birds I hate.
| sailormartin Today's good question: How come I got the spins so bad the morning AFTER I been drinking? |
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| sailormartin Oooh. What's this? http://static.cbslocal.com/... |
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| sailormartin There's no way in hell I'll be caught dead at something called a "bloginar." |
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| sailormartin They say every Sailor misses the sea. I say so what, as long as he hits the unt. Man, that's a dirty joke. |
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| sailormartin Vomited on a cat. The cat returned the favor. |
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| sailormartin I keeps telling him, if it didn't go down right the first time, don't keep drinking it. |
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| sailormartin Not sure I like how it feels not to be hung over. The sun and loud noises SHOULD hurt when you wake up. |
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| sailormartin Ah, what to have for breakfast. CRAP! Out of tequila. |
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| sailormartin Wait a second. Alcohol is DE-hydrating? That both makes no sense and explains so much. |
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| sailormartin Adding something else to my list of the unexpectedly flammable. |
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| sailormartin Jesus, it's hot. I'd take a swim in the Mississippi, but the last time I did that, stray cats followed me for days. |
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| sailormartin Sometimes I miss the sea. Those are the times when I accidentally pee on the deck. |
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| sailormartin I don't understand why online dating services don't allow "creepy" as a self-description. I think potential dates should know that about me. |
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| sailormartin Just read about a woman who has an orgasm every time she sneezes. Kept waiting for the punchline, which I assumed was the word "pepper." |
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| sailormartin WTF: http://tinyurl.com/5whmtp |
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| sailormartin Ever have a guest come over, think about hiding your pornography, then realize that it would be easier to simply get a second place to live? |
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| sailormartin What's up with all these mosquitoes bothering me? I'm made of fiberglass, you little idiots! |
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| sailormartin Once again, woke up with a different girl than I went to bed with. When do the pretty ones sneak out and the ugly ones take their place? |
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| sailormartin There's too many drunk people on the highway. I don't dare run out there to retrieve my pants. |
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