ryanaleczander
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You know how to make an actual bird angry? Put it in a slingshot.
11:29 AM May 18th
via Twitter for Android
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Breast implants: Getting women with ugly faces laid since 1945.
9:22 PM May 8th
via Twitter for iPad
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Maybe North Carolina is on to something... Everyone has the right to be happy. They should ban heterosexual marriage, too.
8:02 PM May 8th
via Twitter for iPad
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It's 2012. Aren't we past hate yet?
7:44 PM May 8th
via Twitter for iPad
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And now... Your Amazon product of the day... Look closely.
8:40 PM May 6th
via web
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I hate Shia LaBeouf just because his name is Shia LaBeouf.
4:20 AM May 6th
via TweetDeck
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Dear Wiz Khalifa, I will never forgive you for "Black and Yellow". Now please go stick your head in a fan blade. Thank you.
7:27 AM May 4th
via TweetDeck
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Friend said he was unaware of the Kim Kardashian sex tape... How the hell did he think she got famous?
2:54 PM Apr 30th
via Twitter for iPhone
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When my kid says he's bored, I point at the Internet, yell "KNOW HOW BORING MY CHILDHOOD WAS WITHOUT THAT?" and make him watch cat videos.
5:22 PM Apr 29th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Give a man a fish and he'll be like, "Thanks for the fish, you fuckin weirdo."
11:55 PM Apr 16th
via web
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Foursquare? Is that still a thing? I heard Facebook purchased it for 59¢.
8:37 PM Apr 16th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Glee commercial calls itself "The show that defined a generation". Congratulations, kids, you're all gay.
5:02 PM Apr 15th
via Twitter for iPad
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@ I think you've gotta be high or drunk to get into Oasis food. It's kinda like Taco Bell.
7:25 PM Apr 4th
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to MsLeo91
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Dear Kanye West, just because you made up a word in a rap song, doesn't make it a fully accepted word. That'd be cray.
11:05 AM Apr 4th
via Twitter for iPad
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nobody would know what a "Kardashian" is.
10:54 AM Apr 4th
via Twitter for iPad
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I don't know which is scarier, the fact that Snooki is having a kid, or the fact that someone had sex with her without a condom.
6:00 AM Apr 4th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Tonight is both Wrestlemania and the Country Music Awards... Some trailer park somewhere is gonna wind up on fire.
6:44 PM Apr 1st
via Twitter for iPad
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Wearing a hoodie. I hope Geraldo doesn't shoot me.
4:03 PM Mar 28th
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ They should learn to fly faster. Like hummingbirds.
4:01 PM Mar 28th
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to snippetydish
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Hm. Why would birds need a slingshot to fly?
2:46 PM Mar 28th
via Twitter for iPhone
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- Name Ryan Aleczander
- Location B.F.E., Ohio
- Web http://www.viddle...
- Bio DJ, aspiring comedian, voiceover artist, and student from Ohio. I have super powers, just not any of the good ones. [Ass Möde]
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