rossmcf
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Cast changes for Calendar Girls mean Meg can kiss her surprise tickets goodbye.
Samantha Fox is no substitute for Jill Halfpenny.
about 5 hours ago
from Tweetie
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Wondering if there's any linguistic relationship between the word 'question' and cheese.
@ ?
about 13 hours ago
from Tweetie
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ME: “Mum, I asked Meg to marry me. She said yes.”
MUM: “Fantastic!”
(a week passes)
MUM: “I didn't realise you were engaged!”
1:46 AM Dec 5th
from Birdhouse
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Cause and effect is lost on my mother.
1:46 AM Dec 5th
from Birdhouse
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Meg's peoples can't spell my name for shit. They're gonna have to buck their ideas up before my surname becomes hers.
6:20 AM Dec 3rd
from Tweetie
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Scouse is a dialect half sung, half spat.
7:58 AM Dec 1st
from Tweetie
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@ Ouch.
7:43 AM Nov 30th
from Tweetie
in reply to rands
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So, I went up a hill with my girlfriend…
and came down with my fiancée.
3:21 AM Nov 30th
from Birdhouse
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I ache.
12:25 AM Nov 27th
from Tweetie
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@ Exceptions are made to be _thrown_.
6:03 AM Nov 26th
from web
in reply to talks_in_maths
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Today, I am a Google Maps telephone operator.
1:49 AM Nov 26th
from Tweetie
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Want, want, want, want, WANT:
3:25 AM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
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This is beautiful.
1:43 AM Nov 25th
from Tweetie
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@ Shaun Inman's lessn might do the trick.
11:27 PM Nov 24th
from Tweetie
in reply to MikeNolan
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@ Absolutely awesome.
4:01 PM Nov 24th
from Tweetie
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@ is an animal. Not the Muppet, you understand, but a highly skilled animal that keeps excellent time.
3:59 PM Nov 24th
from Tweetie
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@ Thought for the happiness meter: make a flexible mouth and deform for smile/frown:
4:23 AM Nov 23rd
from Tweetie
in reply to benosteen
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Three years on this train and I've only just thought of “Can I get a Widnes?”.
1:04 AM Nov 23rd
from Tweetie
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Spirits lifted by human kindness.
(Someone gave me a parking ticket with half an hour left on it.)
4:56 AM Nov 21st
from Tweetie
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@ Could you wield your influence to get Terry Wogan saying the Oedipal expletive on air for Children in Need? I'm in for £20.
1:02 PM Nov 20th
from Tweetie
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