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rossmcf

  1. Cast changes for Calendar Girls mean Meg can kiss her surprise tickets goodbye. Samantha Fox is no substitute for Jill Halfpenny. about 5 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. Wondering if there's any linguistic relationship between the word 'question' and cheese. @stephenfry ? about 13 hours ago from Tweetie
  3. ME: “Mum, I asked Meg to marry me. She said yes.” MUM: “Fantastic!” (a week passes) MUM: “I didn't realise you were engaged!” 1:46 AM Dec 5th from Birdhouse
  4. Cause and effect is lost on my mother. 1:46 AM Dec 5th from Birdhouse
  5. Meg's peoples can't spell my name for shit. They're gonna have to buck their ideas up before my surname becomes hers. 6:20 AM Dec 3rd from Tweetie
  6. Scouse is a dialect half sung, half spat. 7:58 AM Dec 1st from Tweetie
  7. @rands Ouch. 7:43 AM Nov 30th from Tweetie in reply to rands
  8. So, I went up a hill with my girlfriend… and came down with my fiancée. 3:21 AM Nov 30th from Birdhouse
  9. I ache. 12:25 AM Nov 27th from Tweetie
  10. @talks_in_maths Exceptions are made to be _thrown_. 6:03 AM Nov 26th from web in reply to talks_in_maths
  11. Today, I am a Google Maps telephone operator. 1:49 AM Nov 26th from Tweetie
  12. Want, want, want, want, WANT: http://shop.hardgraft.com/products 3:25 AM Nov 25th from Tweetie
  13. This is beautiful. http://www.patrickmoberg.com/lessons-from-a-dog/#0 1:43 AM Nov 25th from Tweetie
  14. @MikeNolan Shaun Inman's lessn might do the trick. 11:27 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie in reply to MikeNolan
  15. @SkunkAnansie1 Absolutely awesome. 4:01 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie
  16. @markskunk is an animal. Not the Muppet, you understand, but a highly skilled animal that keeps excellent time. 3:59 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie
  17. @benosteen Thought for the happiness meter: make a flexible mouth and deform for smile/frown: http://is.gd/51LRh 4:23 AM Nov 23rd from Tweetie in reply to benosteen
  18. Three years on this train and I've only just thought of “Can I get a Widnes?”. 1:04 AM Nov 23rd from Tweetie
  19. Spirits lifted by human kindness. (Someone gave me a parking ticket with half an hour left on it.) 4:56 AM Nov 21st from Tweetie
  20. @wossy Could you wield your influence to get Terry Wogan saying the Oedipal expletive on air for Children in Need? I'm in for £20. 1:02 PM Nov 20th from Tweetie