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robdelaney

  1. The most scared I've ever been was when Jeremy Piven maybe had mercury poisoning. 2nd is probably 9/11. 35 minutes ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  2. @kevinmeyers I might have to quit after that one. 41 minutes ago via Tweetbot for iOS in reply to kevinmeyers
  3. My cousin Denise's baby Alpo was born with no feet and a full adult penis because she drank Four Loko when she was pregnant :( about 1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  4. is jurassic park real about 2 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  5. IN SHOCK that @RickSantorum has chosen @JaredLeto as his running mate. about 2 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  6. I want to "sex rub" my neighbor Karen's boobies. about 4 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  7. Heroes @NeilHamburger @joemande & @fart are doing the Lord's working fucking with corporations on Twitter. They are visionaries. about 4 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  8. When I post tour dates, people ask "Why aren't you coming to [my shitty town]?" Believe me, I will at some point. Thanks for desiring me. about 4 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  9. It's fun to go "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" as you back your bum up to the toilet. Anyway, I'm a pretty lonely person. about 5 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  10. Just made a dog look at my boner for a change. about 7 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  11. ron delaney about 7 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  12. "I know my recent weight gain has left a lot of people feeling hurt & confused." - imaginary press conference I'm holding right now about 8 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  13. Something about the word "dungarees" makes my vagina feel funny. about 10 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  14. I lost my virginity in 1994. about 11 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  15. I just said "Who's a little biscuit!" to a puppy tied to a signpost outside a café & a homeless guy a few feet away said "I am." about 12 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  16. My US tour dates, including new BROOKLYN show. Also: Miami, DC, Philly & more. London dates soon. robdelaney.tumblr.com/tour RT! #clump #knob about 12 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  17. Its original title was "Everybody Loves Raymond, Except Neil Doherty, the Real Estate Agent He Stabbed in 1982." about 13 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS
  18. I know it's tacky to post a picture of my new sportscar, but whatever; I've earned it: twitter.com/robdelaney/sta… about 13 hours ago via Camera on iOS
  19. @susanorlean I'm here all week & would love to! about 13 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS in reply to susanorlean
  20. If "The Artist" gets Best Picture over "Ghost Protocol," I will kill a mute. about 13 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS