michaelianblackTo all those who donated to my charity and didn't get roasted, I will reschedule my asshole-of-yours-ripping. Stay tuned.about 3 hours agofrom web
jimmyfallonAn Iowa man wrote a bday message to his wife using manure on their farm. The REALLY weird part: they don’t own any animals. #FallonMonoabout 4 hours agofrom web
toddbarryIsn't Dyson your puppy? That is weird! RT @ACNewman My wife is getting a lot of guff from Dyson, over our vacuum cleaner's warranty.about 6 hours agofrom web
toddbarryFrankie Valli was particularly distraught I was in coach on @VirginAmerica flight. Guess he wanted me up front, so we could "talk shop."about 6 hours agofrom web
toddbarryHi @VirginAmerica, I once flew you to LA. Alan Alda+Frankie Valli sat in 1st class, visibly upset I was in coach. Do the right thing Jan 30.about 6 hours agofrom web
michaelianblackTo everybody who donated I didn't get a chance to roast, I will do this again to finish you off (yes, I meant that as a pun).about 9 hours agofrom web
michaelianblackLast one for my dear friend: @tedshaq The only good about your awkward height is that it prevents people from seeing your hairline.about 9 hours agofrom web