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rituyen

  1. The first time I've texted anything important in almost a year and I feel like I sounded super uptight. I used full words and everything.1:31 PM Jul 9th from web
  2. Most likely made an ass of myself last night. Will try to transform back to human today before I go teach children to be spies.9:19 AM Jul 9th from web
  3. 6 more hours of work and then two weeks off. This is actually not a good thing.7:00 PM Jul 6th from web
  4. "Would you give me a moment alone with the head of my son?" #tcif1:17 PM Jun 29th from web
  5. "Hey pagan gods, time to kick it up a notch." #tcif1:16 PM Jun 29th from web
  6. "Silas, better get inside, the Holy Roman Empire is approaching." #tcif1:15 PM Jun 29th from web
  7. "If it ain't the Facebook bears or the genetically-altered ponies it's the gosh dern kids who don't listen to their parents." #tcif1:14 PM Jun 29th from web
  8. "A lot of those quizzes are sponsored by bears." #tcif1:13 PM Jun 29th from web
  9. "I bought disposable spoons because I'm such a fucker." #tcif1:12 PM Jun 29th from web
  10. "You have to stop being such a maverick. We shouldn't have named him Maverick." #tcif1:12 PM Jun 29th from web
  11. "Don't mind me. I'm in the shadows." #tcif1:11 PM Jun 29th from web
  12. "It really turns a guy off when you check your blood sugar in front of him." #tcif1:11 PM Jun 29th from web
  13. "I can't focus!" "Don't give me that shit, I bought you glasses." #tcif10:10 AM Jun 28th from web
  14. Cut to the HQ of Chex Mix. "You know what would be sweet? If that shit caused chaos." #tcif10:10 AM Jun 28th from web
  15. "All I can smell is melting dog." #tcif10:09 AM Jun 28th from web
  16. "It's nylon, it's not a bomb." #tcif10:09 AM Jun 28th from web
  17. "Speaking as one of the male gender--" "Oh, are you now? They authorized that?" #tcif10:08 AM Jun 28th from web
  18. "I tried to get lupus." #tcif10:08 AM Jun 28th from web
  19. "That's what I assume San Fransisco smells like: sourdough... and fog... and Sean Connery escaping Alcatraz." #tcif10:07 AM Jun 28th from web
  20. "Listen, I'm a Tinkerbell and a pirate away from the Lost Boys over here." #tcif10:07 AM Jun 28th from web