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  1. Me to Spider-Man: "Want to watch the Lone Ranger?" Spider-Man: "Fuck yes I would like to watch that, David."
  2. I'm having a bowl of special oatmeal for the first time in several weeks. I feel renewed.
  3. Spider-Man reeks of candy canes
  4. That's the name of my CD--it will have 2 long of spoken word pieces: I'm Afraid We'll Always Be Close Friends, You are Precisely Fat Enough
  5. "Don't lick the stereo."
  6. At 1:13.35 you can see up Prince Valiant's dress
  7. In Prince Valiant, Janet Leigh looks like a George Wunder drawing
  8. Whose ridiculous idea was it to put Sterling Hayden in the Prince Valiant movie?
  9. @secretvoice We should debate this on our podcast
  10. @secretvoice That must've been JImmy Palmiotti talking about bj skillz
  11. A creepy dude came up to me at the mall and asked if I'd ever done any modeling then he offered to give me a ride someplace
  12. @shannonsplanet i feel like fuckin' a cathy cartoon today
  13. I am so mad at you
  14. The Meisner / Strasberg Action Hour
  15. @souris That is a beautiful song
  16. The Bigfoot / Robin Hood Comedy Hour
  17. Remember: Clowns at the circus, they're real funny--but on the highway they're murder
  18. I'm going to have trader joe chicken salad for lunch again
  19. @mintylewis Just get that dog bed that's shaped like a crown and quit while you're ahead
  20. I'm trying to think of a purchase that will make my life feel really full and wonderful